Saturday, Aug. 28, 2010

Currently: So tuesday was horrible. My supervisors made me do an inservice on the different types of equipment we use in the gym. I tried to make it creative by giving everybody a handout with the equipment on them, and then having each person come up and do an activity on the equipment and everyonelse would discuss (like fucking adults) what areas of the body that person is working on improving. You would THINK that a presentation in that format would go over well...but just the opposite happened. As soon as I get up there, the OT assistants start yelling "wait, we have to do WORK? this is HER inservice! She's the one that's supposed to be doing all the WORK!" One Indidan bitch in particular named Aisha (who I sense has hated my guts since day one) was the worst of them all. She just kept yelling and saying "oh please!" and rolling her eyes...and at one point, she even got up and sarcastically said "I'm going to use the bathroom!...might as well." In the meanwhile, you would THINK that the others would try to show some sort of respect for me and stand up to the bitch and tell her to calm the fuck down...but no! They all joined in on her bitchiness. Even one of my SUPERVISORS was sitting there, laughing his head off and (I feel) just mocking me altogether. And mind you, these people are all well in their 30's, and married with children! You would think that they would be a lot more mature than that. I swear, I felt like I was in Elementary School being bullied allover again. After that nightmare was done and over with, I went to a corner and just cried...cause that's all I could do. You know, this is sort of my fault too for being so quiet and passive. If I would have been a strong minded bitch from day one, none of this would have ever happened. I need to step it up. But how? It's just not in my person to be that way...no matter how hard I try. But I guess I have to keep trying anyways. On that note, I hope they all get AIDS or CANCER. I wasn't going to go there, but yup, I did it.

Saturday, Aug. 21, 2010

Currently: So I am continuing to strive and make improvements at my fieldwork facility...but judging by the types of people I work with, I still never know what their perceptions of me will be at the end of my run there. Despite that, i'm going to continue to push myself and try to become the best practitioner I can be...so that I at least know that if I do fail, at least I never gave up and went down fighting. Because that is what I am...a fighter. Anyways, in other news, my mother just admitted herself along with my brother to the ER because he had been complaining about an ear ache for days now, and her asthma has returned. Shitty saturday altogether. And in other OTHER news, my annoying bitch of an aunt wants to pair me up with this half Puerto Rican, half Italian Nursing student at her job. This kind of pisses me off as 1) I never asked the bitch for any favors, nor to try and pair me up with ANYBODY, 2) I'm not looking to be (or attempt to be) romantically involved with ANYBODY, EVER! and 3) What the hell does she think I am? A person who cannot find somebody on my own? A pity to society? Bitch please!...sorry that I am all of a sudden using ghetto speak (I hate that), but some people are REALLY getting on my nerves right about now! Anyways, unfortunately I am unable to go out tonight, as I am broke and have killer cramps from getting my Period for the second time this month. Lovely.

Monday, Aug. 16, 2010

Currently: Still alive.Haha Things are looking a little bit better fieldwork-wise. I had another meeting with my fieldwork supervisor on friday and he is FINALLY starting to notice the improvements I have been making. Ugh, people. Anyways, other than that nothing else has been going on at all. Life gets more and more boring by the day...I don't know what to do, really...but whatever. I've run out of options on how to make my life more interesting. Anyways, I should actually be in bed right now, so I think i'll get to that now. Good night, world!!!!

Sunday, Aug. 8, 2010

Currently: Still alive.Haha. Fieldwork is still draining me. For one, I am now on "failing" status for fieldwork, why? I don't frickin know!! My supervisor keeps saying that I need to stop looking "lost," and carry myself more like an occupational therapist, as opposed to an occupational therapy assistant. I've been trying my hardest to do that, but everytime I try to improve on something, he as well as other staff members at my facility find somethingelse to get on me for. They are almost impossible to please over there! It is so ridiculous. They act as if I am studying to be a goddamned doctor, when occupational therapy is not NEARLY as difficult as medical school! And what pisses me off the most is the fact that sometimes they even feel the need to blow things out of proportion and even LIE at times, to make it seem as if I don't know what i'm doing and am thus not prepared to be an OT practitioner. It is complete bullshit, if you ask me. But on the brightside, my supervisor had a chat with my fieldwork coordinator, and he was able to convince him to give me more patients to treat a day (I went from three patients a day, to five) so that i'll at least be treating the amount of patients I should be treating by the end of fieldwork (which is about eight). Thankfully, I still enjoy my patients. My supervisor even said the other day that I interract with my patients very well (which is the ONLY compliment he has given me since I started!). I really don't know. I hope things work out for the best in the end, but I really wonder sometimes. Sometimes I just feel like he had already made up his mind that he wants to fail me, and is just looking for MORE dumass reasons to do so. Whatever. I just need to clear my head right now. I'm about to go watch some Deftones music videos on my laptop and then call it a night...and start anew tommorrow. Pray for me, everyone.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Currently: I've been going through an emotional rollercoaster at my fieldwork facility. From my dickheaded supervisor saying that it's okay for my fieldwork coordinator to fail me for fieldwork because he won't sign the contract with my school, to my other supervisor telling me that they haven't been very pleased with me thus far...eventhough he KNEW that dickhead has been giving me a hard time from day one! The people at my facility are very hard to please too, and even if I write a note and look it over a million times to make sure I didn't miss anything, they still find SOMETHING to get on me for. Blah. But, as always, I kept what Jon (my other supervisor) had told me on friday in mind and made sure that it showed in my performance today. One of their complaints was that I don't "initiate" things enough and that I like to just kind of sit around and "wait" for them to tell me things with this confused look on my face. SO...today I made sure to find something for myself to do no matter what, and then approach dickhead or Jon whenever I either needed something to do or had a question. I promise, it'll be like this until the end of this fieldwork, cause I just CAN'T afford to fail this fieldwork and have to start allover and complete it again next semester...or even next summer. What's good about this though, is that Jon had also told me that my evaluating and treating skills are just fine and don't need any type of "work"...so that is DEFINITELY one less thing for me to worry about. I really have been enjoying my patients though. My one patient, Mary, is a sweet little Irish woman who always has some sort of advice for me.Haha As a matter of fact, today she was trying to see if she could get me a boyfriend!!HAHA! If only she knew my luck with men...My other patient is a little Korean man named Mr. Kim and he is HILARIOUS! For one, everytime he sees me he feels the need to say "Do the bike!" and then start laughing hysterically.Haha There were a couple of days where he refused to come to therapy, but he has been easy to work with otherwise. Anyways, i'm outie. Another day of no pay awaits me tommorrow!

Friday, July 9, 2010

Currently: Still hanging there.Haha I evaluated and started treating a woman named Mary this week, and that's been going well. She's a sweet woman, thankfully. A patient like her gives me the hands on experience that I need without overwhelming me, so i'm pretty glad that she ended up being my first patient ever. But on the downside, I do not like my supervisor at all. He seemed like an alright guy at first, but after two days of me being there he mutated into a mega dickhead! But luckily, now that i'm getting the hand of how to handle things at the facility, I don't have to talk to or count on him too much...only when I am absolutely positively confused about something. Anyways, tommorrow I will be at work again...long story short, though I was planning on working last Monday, since dickhead told me I could have the day off, I figured I would take it...but then the next day he flips out over me not being there the previous day...so I (swallow my pride) and promise that I will make up the time on Saturday. And there. Oh boy.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Currently: Yay, I survived!haha First week of Clinical rotations went well...though on Friday I got really overwhelmed for no reason and missed three evaluations I was supposed to observe. I'm never letting that happen again! But it has been going really well thus far. I have been learning a lot about the Nursing Rehab setting and feel like i'm getting a good hand on how to go about things at my facility. Tommorrow I had the option of staying home and taking the day off, or going to work...and I think i'm going to work. I want to show my supervisor that i'm there to be a therapist and get things done, and not just to show up and pass. I hope he appreciates that.haha Not only that, but this week I will be receiving my first batch of patients and just can't put something like that in the back-burner! I'm so excited though, and ready to learn some more. I am a little sad though that i'm missing out on 4th of July festivities this year, but Fieldwork is a more important matter to me...and that's that. So i'm going to rest up for tonight (as firecrackers are blasting off outside my window, haha) and start anew tommorrow. I cannot wait, and i'm going to try to be the best therapist I can be to my patient. Happy fourth of July to all my American readers!!!!