Saturday, Aug. 28, 2010

Currently: So tuesday was horrible. My supervisors made me do an inservice on the different types of equipment we use in the gym. I tried to make it creative by giving everybody a handout with the equipment on them, and then having each person come up and do an activity on the equipment and everyonelse would discuss (like fucking adults) what areas of the body that person is working on improving. You would THINK that a presentation in that format would go over well...but just the opposite happened. As soon as I get up there, the OT assistants start yelling "wait, we have to do WORK? this is HER inservice! She's the one that's supposed to be doing all the WORK!" One Indidan bitch in particular named Aisha (who I sense has hated my guts since day one) was the worst of them all. She just kept yelling and saying "oh please!" and rolling her eyes...and at one point, she even got up and sarcastically said "I'm going to use the bathroom!...might as well." In the meanwhile, you would THINK that the others would try to show some sort of respect for me and stand up to the bitch and tell her to calm the fuck down...but no! They all joined in on her bitchiness. Even one of my SUPERVISORS was sitting there, laughing his head off and (I feel) just mocking me altogether. And mind you, these people are all well in their 30's, and married with children! You would think that they would be a lot more mature than that. I swear, I felt like I was in Elementary School being bullied allover again. After that nightmare was done and over with, I went to a corner and just cried...cause that's all I could do. You know, this is sort of my fault too for being so quiet and passive. If I would have been a strong minded bitch from day one, none of this would have ever happened. I need to step it up. But how? It's just not in my person to be that way...no matter how hard I try. But I guess I have to keep trying anyways. On that note, I hope they all get AIDS or CANCER. I wasn't going to go there, but yup, I did it.

Saturday, Aug. 21, 2010

Currently: So I am continuing to strive and make improvements at my fieldwork facility...but judging by the types of people I work with, I still never know what their perceptions of me will be at the end of my run there. Despite that, i'm going to continue to push myself and try to become the best practitioner I can be...so that I at least know that if I do fail, at least I never gave up and went down fighting. Because that is what I am...a fighter. Anyways, in other news, my mother just admitted herself along with my brother to the ER because he had been complaining about an ear ache for days now, and her asthma has returned. Shitty saturday altogether. And in other OTHER news, my annoying bitch of an aunt wants to pair me up with this half Puerto Rican, half Italian Nursing student at her job. This kind of pisses me off as 1) I never asked the bitch for any favors, nor to try and pair me up with ANYBODY, 2) I'm not looking to be (or attempt to be) romantically involved with ANYBODY, EVER! and 3) What the hell does she think I am? A person who cannot find somebody on my own? A pity to society? Bitch please!...sorry that I am all of a sudden using ghetto speak (I hate that), but some people are REALLY getting on my nerves right about now! Anyways, unfortunately I am unable to go out tonight, as I am broke and have killer cramps from getting my Period for the second time this month. Lovely.

Monday, Aug. 16, 2010

Currently: Still alive.Haha Things are looking a little bit better fieldwork-wise. I had another meeting with my fieldwork supervisor on friday and he is FINALLY starting to notice the improvements I have been making. Ugh, people. Anyways, other than that nothing else has been going on at all. Life gets more and more boring by the day...I don't know what to do, really...but whatever. I've run out of options on how to make my life more interesting. Anyways, I should actually be in bed right now, so I think i'll get to that now. Good night, world!!!!

Sunday, Aug. 8, 2010

Currently: Still alive.Haha. Fieldwork is still draining me. For one, I am now on "failing" status for fieldwork, why? I don't frickin know!! My supervisor keeps saying that I need to stop looking "lost," and carry myself more like an occupational therapist, as opposed to an occupational therapy assistant. I've been trying my hardest to do that, but everytime I try to improve on something, he as well as other staff members at my facility find somethingelse to get on me for. They are almost impossible to please over there! It is so ridiculous. They act as if I am studying to be a goddamned doctor, when occupational therapy is not NEARLY as difficult as medical school! And what pisses me off the most is the fact that sometimes they even feel the need to blow things out of proportion and even LIE at times, to make it seem as if I don't know what i'm doing and am thus not prepared to be an OT practitioner. It is complete bullshit, if you ask me. But on the brightside, my supervisor had a chat with my fieldwork coordinator, and he was able to convince him to give me more patients to treat a day (I went from three patients a day, to five) so that i'll at least be treating the amount of patients I should be treating by the end of fieldwork (which is about eight). Thankfully, I still enjoy my patients. My supervisor even said the other day that I interract with my patients very well (which is the ONLY compliment he has given me since I started!). I really don't know. I hope things work out for the best in the end, but I really wonder sometimes. Sometimes I just feel like he had already made up his mind that he wants to fail me, and is just looking for MORE dumass reasons to do so. Whatever. I just need to clear my head right now. I'm about to go watch some Deftones music videos on my laptop and then call it a night...and start anew tommorrow. Pray for me, everyone.