Sunday, Sept. 26, 2010

Currently: Last night was crazy. Let's say that I NEVER EVER in my life would think that what happened last night would occur to me. Let me get to my story...so, I went out in the city for another night in the town. I went to a couple of Bars and had only about three drinks total...unfortunately, I drank each drink too quickly and ended up getting drunk sooner than I imagined. So I make my way over to a third Bar for one more drink only. While i'm standing outside of that Bar, this cute Dominican boy comes next to me. At first, he doesn't say anything, but then says to me "Hey, how are you doing tonight?" So I started talking to him and found out that he is 21 and works as a manager at a Domino's (ha!) close to where I live. He also starts flirting with me quite a bit. But I don't think much of it and continue talking to him. We walk around for a bit, holding hands. He then asks me if i'm up for having some "fun" with him and if i'd like to go with him to a Hotel...so I tell him straight up that i'm not that kind of girl and am not looking to just have sex with a guy I just fucking met. He seems understanding and swears up and down that he's not "that guy." He then asks if i'd like to go further up in the city with him and hang out. I figure that as long as we stay in the streets and around a lot of people that it's not a big deal, so I agree to it. He hails us a cab and we get in and start making out in the cab...he was a good kisser, I can say. But as we're making out he starts touching my breasts and attempts to touch *cough* down there. I continually move his hands away from those parts and he stops after awhile. We finally get out of the cab, and he gets something to eat from one of the street vendors. He then asks AGAIN if i'd like to go to a Hotel with him, and AGAIN I say no! So then he suggests that we go see a movie. There is a movie theater close to us, so we go up and look at the list of movies. I really wanted to see 'Machete' but unfortunately that particular theater didn't have it on their list. So buddy boy chooses a random ass movie that NEITHER of us have ever heard before (which should have really clued me in), and quickly buys the ticket to that movie. We make our way up to the room that it was playing in and he climbs all the way to the top of the stairs for us to sit (should have been clue #9,899,00! oh, alcohol). So we take our seats and he's allover me again. It turns out that the movie we ended up going to see was this ridiculous movie about Yiddish opera. I kept pushing him off me and instead remarking at how dumb the movie was and continually asked him why he would take me to see that kind of movie (duh! doofus!haha). So he then says something to the tune of "It doesn't matter what the movie's about," and continues to try to make out with and ultimately have sex with me...but I continually push him off me. We made so much noise that at one point, a poor woman who was actually INTERESTED in the movie comes up to shush us up. I tell her that we will be quiet and as soon as she turns around, make snapping gestures behind her back. And the dumbfuck CONTINUES to try shit with me eventhough I CONTINUALLY tell him that i'm NOT DTF (that means 'down to fuck,' for those of you that don't watch 'Jersey Shore,' haha). After awhile, he realizes that i'm upset and apologizes, but then recommends AGAIN that we go to a Hotel...that was my last straw. I slap him in the face a couple of times, don't thank him for paying for the cab or that dumass movie, and get up and leave. As i'm walking out of the theater I look behind me to make sure he's not trying to follow me, and can see him from a distance walking the opposite direction. What a fucking CREEPER! He had such a cute face and body too, and would have had so much potential...but instead he turned out to be yet another fucking turn off. He has seriously gotten me EVEN MORE disgusted in men. When I got back home later on in the night, I actually went on a rant on how much men just make me want to throw up...and I mean it, too. ANYWAYS, on a huge side-note, tommorrow's my first day of my second fieldwork rotation, and at this point, it's whatever. I already chose a cute outfit to wear and have a gameplan of how I will handle myself while over there and whatnot...and that is all I can do. Whatever happens, happens. Peace.

Friday, Sept. 24, 2010

Currently: I could say, I was pretty productive today...considering.haha Of course, I did my fair share of napping today, but then I made up for that by reviewing a whole ton for my new rotation on Monday. Even the previous days before, during, and after the funeral I did quite a lot of studying and looking over things. I even went online and did some research on common adaptive equipment in the pediatric realm...and I actually found a lot of interesting things! That all makes me the more excited to start anew on monday. Tommorrow morning i'm making a quick trip to JCPenny's to get myself a couple of new shirts and pants for work...I haven't gone shopping in so long and am tired of wearing the same things all the time! And that shall be it, for now. More to come!

Wednesday, Sept. 22, 2010

Currently: The funeral was today and it was sad, but life goes on. My grandma lived to be 82, so if anything it is a victory. Her relatives came over and stayed for two days. They included my CRAZY aunt Christina...boy is she somethingelse. This was actually my first time meeting her, and when I found out she was coming I had a master plan; to stay in my room the entire time and avoid any interractions with her and her father (my uncle). Well, that quckly changed on the night of the wake. We shared some wine, some smokes, talked, and both decided to stay up well past midnight...to talk some more. She revealed some pretty personal details about herself, including that she had been addicted to Cocaine and is 3 years clean...good for her, but wow!haha She thinks that i'm a very pretty girl ("prettier than most girls," she says haha) and kept comparing me to one of her daughters...she thinks we're practically twins. She goes in and out between Boston and Florida and says that I am welcome to come visit her in Florida anytime, and who knows? She gave me her number and even called me after she left. I think I may call her tommorrow. It's weird how i'm all of a sudden connecting with some of my family members. My family on both sides were never tight-knit, so I have always had this mindset that family isn't really important...but I don't know, I may be re-thinking that notion now. Even on my mother's side, I have been trying to re-connect with a lot of my first cousins in Haiti and it has actually been nice. I mean, I don't have that many friends, so I have to have SOMEBODY to rant and rave to.Haha In the meanwhile, I think i'm about to go have some of that vodka that Christina left behind for me. :p

Sunday, Sept. 19, 2010

Currently: I forgot to mention this in my last couple of updates, but I have finally received information about my next fieldwork rotation. I will be working at a school catering to children ages 5-21 with multiple and physical disabilities. Needless to say, this new rotation will offer a whole new challenge for me, but i'm looking forward to it. Tommorrow i'm going to call my supervisor to ask her a couple more questions about the facility. So...we shall see. In the meanwhile, I just can't wait for this week to be over. It is looking to be mentally exhausting for me, but I think I can deal. I just hope that everything goes over smoothly. I especially need to be focused this week, as it is the week before my next rotation and I need it to properly prepare myself for what is to come. I REALLY don't want for what happened at the last facility I worked at to happen at this facility...although I DID as well try to prepare myself to the best of my ability for the previous site. But one can only do so much. I am not a miracle worker, afterall. Anyways, as said before, we shall see. Wish me luck, all!

Saturday, Sept. 18, 2010

Currently: Tonight I was remniscing about this one time while I was back in school, when I met up with a guy named Austin and just on a whim decided to go back to his place with him and his guy friends. They all happened to be mechanical engineering majors. Believe it or not, I consider that night to be one of my favorite College moments. I remember when we got back to his place, we all just took shots, talked shit, and I got to see some of his weapons, like his hunter's gun and hunter's knife...it was just a good, laid back time without even trying too hard. And believe it or not, nothing creepy happened...well, besides the one point in the night when Austin's friend decided to suck my blood (long story). I don't know why, but it's one of those moments where you look back and think to yourself "You know, that was a good time." Just me and a bunch of guys hanging out and being ourselves. Who would think that?

Friday, Sept. 17, 2010

Currently: I'm not looking forward to the funeral on wednesday...mostly because a lot of people will be there and I unfortunately (which has been my downfall) am not much of the people person and am thus not for chatting it up with anybody. I feel like the entire situation itself will be just really uncomfortable for myself and that's another thing I hate; being uncomfortable. We'll see, I guess. In the meanwhile, today I am avoiding facebook like the plague because I KNOW that a lot of people in my class are posting about how extatic they are that they actually PASSED their first fieldwork 2 rotation...well good for fucking you. I'm just doing so to keep myself from feeling too much like a worthless piece of shit. I do what I can. Anyways, don't really know what the plan is for this weekend...to be completely honest, i'm going to most likely end up doing absolutely nothing. Cheers!

Thursday, Sept. 16, 2010

Currently: I wrote a MUCH longer update just a few minutes ago, but my computer decided to fuck up and erase EVERYTHING that I had written, and i'm not fucking starting over again. So...in a nutshell, my grandmother passed away on tuesday, and right before I found out I had a paranormal experience with her spirit...and I have a history of not believing in ghosts, so you know I'm not making this up. Funeral is next week, and her relatives from Florida and Boston are coming over, YAY! Also, tommorrow was supposed to be my last day of fieldwork, but (as all know), since I was forced to withdraw from the Nursing Home last week for still "not meeting standards," that will not be the case. And as most of my other classmates will be out taking celebratory shots, i'll be sitting at home feeling sorry for myself...YAY! AGAIN!
There.
Oh, and P.S. For now I am waiting on my next facility to send me an info packet so that I know where exactly I'm going and who my supervisor will be. I am also signing up for student liability tonight, since my new facility "requires" that. I am also looking forward to week six at this new facility, so that I at least "know" where I stand in the wonderful world of occupational therapy.
End (for real this time).

Saturday, Sept. 11, 2010

Currently: You know, I noticed that I only really hear from people on my birthday...and I have a lot of them writing things to me like "I miss you!!!"...really? Then why don't I ever hear from you when it's NOT my birthday??!!
...I also really wish I could actually look at my life and say "life is good!"...when will I have my moment in the spotlight?
...ok, no more complaining, for now. I'm going to step out for a little to clear my head.
P.S. Yes, I know that today is the 9th anniversary of 9/11, but I could fucking care less. ZING!

Thursday, Sept. 9, 2010

Currently: I just want to lay down and die.

Wednesday, Sept. 8, 2010

Currently: So I have failed my first Fieldwork 2 placement...according to my supervisor, it is because I wasn't "open" enough. I personally think that his reasoning for failing me was pure bullshit, and here's why: 1) When I had initially asked him and my douchebag, dickheaded other supervisor how they determined whether or not a student passed or failed, they both answered that as long as a student came to the facility, did their work, and didn't hurt or injure any patient, they passed them...I did EXACTLY that, and YET they found petty, bullshit reasons to fail me, which proves that they were lying to me from day one, 2) My first supervisor, the dickhead LIMITEDLY supervised me, yet EXPECTED me to do everything 100% like a practitioner...my other supervisor even addressed that during one of our meetings, and YET held everything I was lacking against ME! 3) In my opinion, patients should come first in this equation, and I always treated my patients with the upmost respect, and they all seemed satisfied with my services. I even had one patient who spat at and disrespected all the CNA's, nurses, and LPN's, but LOVED me. 4) We had practitioners at my facility who made THE SAME EXACT mistakes as I did, and yet at the end of the day, they were still practitioners, they still kept their jobs, but you're going to fail me? There was even one covering practitioner who was an OTR, not just a OTA, but an OTR, and didn't know what the hell she was doing. She would literally give patients one activity to do which didn't even HELP them in terms of their diagnoses, and she got away with it. She even asked ME for help at times, especially with documentation. And YET, she gets to keep her fancy license and make the big bucks year by year, but I get the middle finger. My point in bringing people like her up is; if they got a chance to be who they are today, then I deserve one too. Anyways, the next step for me is, I will still be able to go on my Pediatrics rotation, so it's not a complete loss. Afterwards, I am still allowed to go back to school to finish off my final semester of classes, and I would even be able to walk in the graduation ceremony. But here's where the catch comes in. After I graduate, I would have to stay in PA to do an additional rotation in the physical disabilities field. If I would pass that rotation, I would then officially earn my Masters. It's a decent idea for me, considering what happened at this last facility, but I still have a lot of things to think about, like where to stay and how to get to my job, and if I should get an additional job to cover expenses. I have also been thinking to myself; "Is it REALLY worth it?" According to my last supervisor, I pretty much don't even have the "personality" to be a practitioner, so if that's the case, why bother? Also, this rotation made me realize how shady and full of shit this profession REALLY is, and I am not a shady person. I really don't know. My fieldwork coordinator doesn't want me to make any "rash" decisions, and I see where he is coming from. But at the same time I feel that the decision I *want* to make may be the best one for me. I don't know anymore...about anything. One thing's for sure; I REALLY have to do well on my Pediatrics rotation, otherwise...
P.S. I gave one of my temporary supervisors (the same one who co-signed stabbing me in the back) a thank you card, so he gave me one of his own with $50 in it. I have a feeling he thought to himself "This girl is going to need a drink after she's done with us, so let me give her a little something..." And you know what? That's exactly what i'm going to do with it, thank you very much sir.

Sunday, Sept. 5, 2010

Currently: You know, I like when my tears are thick and warm.