Sunday, June 26, 2011

Currently: I think that I am finally missing not having a TV after all this time...the BET Awards Show is on tonight and i'm going to miss it! And what I hate with the BET site is that they never post episodes of their shows online. Urgh! So frustrating.

...But on another note, random quote of the night that I really liked and really applies to me; "Being single doesn’t necessarily mean you’re available. Sometimes you've been hurt too much you put up a, “Do Not Disturb” sign on your heart."...what a perfect quote that sums up my life! Anyways...

Going to call it a night soon. I've decided that I am officially starting the job hunt tommorrow evening. Wish me luck, all! G'night.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Currently: As of today I am officially done with ALL people! Fuck friendship and relationships, unfortunately those two words DO NOT exist in my life. I have come to this conclusion after a conversation I had last night with Sam, who had the nerve to tell me that she started hanging out with me "...because it seemed like no one else wanted to hang out with you," and then added that she became my friend "...because after awhile I just got used to hanging out with you." ...Who fucking says that to their friends? And what makes her think that I actually CARE that no one from the sorority talks to me? I don't give two shits! So hearing that from her definitely drew the nail into the coffin of my relationship with humans. I'm just so tired of being disappointed and screwed over by people. You know I also had another so-called "friend" of mine who got married last month and I sent her a card since I couldn't physically be at the wedding (since she lives all the way in California), and she didn't send me a "thank you" or even tell me whether or not she received the card...so I wrote to her on facebook asking if she received it and she never answered me! How fucking rude is that? Like I said, DONE!

Friday, June 24, 2011

Currently: Today was a crazy ending to week 8. For one, I had to help transfer a dead weight stroke patient to the toilet this morning and she ended up pooping allover my Supervisor's pants and shoes!...I'm not going to lie, it was kind of funny. But what also got me nervous with this transfer was then having to get her BACK to her chair. At that point it was just me and one of the CNA's (because my Supervisor had run home to change at that point)and she (the CNA) just looks at me and says "WE are going to put her back in her chair"...she expected me to transfer a dead weight stroke patient who required even more than 2 people to transfer her back to her chair. As scared as I was to do this, I literally held my breath, thought to myself "whatever you do, DO NOT drop this lady!" and just went for it. I swear, that was one of the scariest moments of my life. I kind of cried inside, i'm not going to lie. And on top of that, I had another patient who went out to the hospital because his stump (he's an amputee) started bleeding uncontrollably, and then another patient who was sick and throwing up all morning. Again, WHAT A DAY! And might I say too that the girl from my class who started the job at my fieldwork facility is already getting on my damn nerves (like I expected)? For one, I fucking HATE the fact that she continually feels the need to remind me that i'm STILL a student...like I don't need anymore reminders! And the crazy part is, this bitch knows my story and why I ended up having to re-do another fieldwork...and YET she does this shit to me? This afternoon in particular, she has the nerves to tell me in a snarky manner "oh wow, looks like you're going to be stuck doing nothing until Sarah (my supervisor) comes back since you're a student and all..."...THAT BITCH! I swear, if I had a dollar for the amount of times in my life that I had to hold back from punching a bitch in the face, i'd be a multi-millionaire! Very needless to say, I need a damn drink...and am going to get one...NOW!

4 more weeks to go (not even excited about it anymore)

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Currently: Lately I have been remniscing a lot about the fun moments of my childhood. My childhood surely wasn't ideal, but it had it's good moments. As a matter of fact, I had more fun during my elementary school days (namely grades 4-6) than my High School days! It is so weird. Namely, I had a really close friend who ended up becoming a back-stabbing, popularity-starved bitch, but we had our good times. We were practically like sisters. I remember I used to go to her house almost every day after school and we would play outside, order pizza, play video games, watch movies, and re-enact some of the movies that we watched. One of my favorites of our 're-enactments' was when we watched 'Romeo and Juliet' (the 1996 version) and were so upset by the ending that we decided to go up in her room and repeatedly re-enacted the end scene where Juliet discovers Romeo dead and offs herself. Believe it or not, I was really into acting and drama in those days (and still am in a way) and was even in the drama club! So I always thoroughly enjoyed our little re-enactments. But one memory of her and I's friendship that i've been remembering a lot lately is the time I spent Christmas Day with her and her family (because it was surely more fun than Christmas day at my house, that's for sure) and her dad got her this really cool Karaoke kit that came with a casette that included the song "Hot Hot Hot" by Arrow. I remember her and I sang a couple songs and then we made her father sing and he chose that song. He sang it so horrendously that we decided to sing along with him and ended up butchering the song even more.Haha So now whenever I randomly hear that song anywhere, I remember Christmas morning at my childhood friend's house and her father completely butchering that song. As a matter of fact, I heard the song about a week ago while I was at a Bar and that exact thought came to mind. It may be a cheesy song, but believe it or not it brings me back to the good 'ole days (damn I feel old saying that). As corny as it sounds, I have also been remniscing about when my brother and I used to watch our "Barney and Friends" VHS and seeing one of the child actors from that show about a year after on the Nickelodeon show "Salute your shorts." It got me kind of wondering whatever happened to that kid and if he ended up making the same decision with his career as the rapper Drake (who started out on the kiddie show 'Degrassi'). Random and corny, I know. But for some reason I find some comfort and fun in nostalgia. Maybe i'll grow out of it once I actually get a life.Haha And speaking of my current life as I know it...it still is what it is. I feel like fieldwork is dragging and it's driving me insane, but of course I continue on anyways. I really wish it were week 11 going into week 12 instead of week 8 going into week 9 though, ugh! ...See what I mean? So unbearable.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Currently: Week 8, here I come!

But in other unrelated topics, ever have one of those days where you can just foresee your future? That is me this evening. I don't know why my mind has gone all somber on me, but it all started on the bus ride home when I kept thinking how corny (but kind of cute) it is that my brother has this dorky little obsession with the Nickelodeon show iCarly. I then started thinking about the fact that he's going to need me and or my mom for the rest of his life...and then I started thinking about what my own future will be like. Since I have very few friends, I see myself being generally a loner and continuing to make my usual trips to the city and anywhere else by myself. I also (for some reason) see myself never really leaving the House I grew up in...as much as I would like to leave that place and some of the horrid memories I have there. I see myself reguardless just staying there with my mother and brother and still having my mom stay downstairs late at night to open the door for me whenever I step out to the Bar/club for a little bit...like i've been doing. And I just have a feeling that as much as I would like to travel to a plethora of different places, that my only real trip will be the one i'll be taking at the end of this summer (because I WILL force myself to go on that one!) because i'm such a chicken and hate airplanes. I don't think i'll ever get married or have children. I'm not being pessimistic, i'm being realistic. I also don't think I will ever have a real boyfriend. That is why I have given up on love and the male species altogether. But hey, at least i'll be making an alright amount of money and will be able to support my family financially. That is one thing I would like to do...to die knowing that I helped the people that needed me the most. Again, I am not being down on myself or negative...this is an all too realistic look into my future. I figured too that I might as well face my future now so that I know what to expect. And that is all.

In the meanwhile, I really would like to start drinking some vodka, but because I have this horrid sore throat from battling allergies for two straight weeks, I am afraid to because I know that vodka burns the throat as it is and would probably REALLY burn it!...Well, i'll give it a try anyway. If anybody hears a yelp from abroad it is me reeling from having burned my throat with vodka.

5 more weeks to go!!! (still feels like a lot)

Monday, June 13, 2011

Currently: Tommorrow one of my former classmates will be starting a full-time position at the facility I am currently completing my fieldwork. It is going to be so hard seeing someone doing something with their lives that I should be doing. I mean, this girl will actually be getting paid and technically could even serve as my supervisor if my real one isn't around. In the meanwhile, we started and technically finished school at the same time. I should be getting a full-time, paying job right now, I should have all the priviliges that this girl will have over me. Life is so unfair. Then again, it is unfair to a lot of individuals. Another girl whom I went to school with recently died in a horrible yacht explosion. And as far as I saw, she seemed like a very nice, very pleasant person. She certainly didn't deserve to die in such a way. It just got me thinking a little. I have been in this philosophical mode all evening. Anyways, not really looking forward to seeing this girl tommorrow, but shall charge on with my day anyways. I will be seeing her the remainder of my time there anyways, so might as well suck it up now. Oh boy. I can't wait for this to all be over.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Currently: Last night wasn't bad. I got to step out for a little bit and even bumped into one of my co-workers and got to hang out with her. That was fun. Today has been pretty quiet. All I really did was wake up, eat, shower, step out to the library to type my resume, eat some more, and hang out. And now for some reason I am really tired all of a sudden...it is probably due to boredome. So I think i'm going to go call it a night soon. Tommorrow starts week 7! Let's hope it flies by.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Currently: Woo, I survived Midterms!!! I went over my midterm report with my supervisor and I scored really well and she said that I am on the right track for the next 6 weeks! I am very happy and excited about this and so ready to move on with my life. This week I also completed my Resume...now all I have to do is type it.haha Once i'm done with that (which will probably be by tommorrow), i'm probably going to send a copy to Sarah at the Travel company I have been talking to. And of course, I am also plannng my celebration vacation! As a matter of fact, my friend Jenn (who I plan on vacationing with) is up here this weekend for her little Sister's wedding and I was able to see her last night and talk with her a little about what she would like to do and what we should do...and pretty much, we both can't make up our minds of whether we should go to Vegas or Miami. We were both thinking that Miami is closer to us and (probably) cheaper, especially if we shorten our trip...but then we still would like to go to Vegas because...it's Vegas! Ugh! Decisions, decisions...But yes, I am feeling mighty happy and today will be a good day!

6 more weeks to go! (ow, ow!)

Friday, June 4, 2011

Currently: Week 5...over and done! You know what that means? This upcoming week will be midterms week! Midterms week! I'm so excited. I'm just so glad to be almost half way done with this bullshit. Of course i'm also a little paranoid that my supervisor will pull some shit out of her ass out of nowhere and for no reason...but for now, I am expecting a pretty good midterm report. I mean, I am treating 9 patients a day now. For midterms that is pretty damn impressive! We shall see. My supervisor said that she should have the report ready for me by wednesday, so we shall see. Other than that, nothing else to report. I have been looking forward a lot to vacationing somewhere once I officially earn my Masters. I have been thinking mostly of Las Vegas...but you never know. Bottom line either way is for this shit to end as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7 more weeks to go!!!!