Friday, June 17, 2011

Currently: Week 8, here I come!

But in other unrelated topics, ever have one of those days where you can just foresee your future? That is me this evening. I don't know why my mind has gone all somber on me, but it all started on the bus ride home when I kept thinking how corny (but kind of cute) it is that my brother has this dorky little obsession with the Nickelodeon show iCarly. I then started thinking about the fact that he's going to need me and or my mom for the rest of his life...and then I started thinking about what my own future will be like. Since I have very few friends, I see myself being generally a loner and continuing to make my usual trips to the city and anywhere else by myself. I also (for some reason) see myself never really leaving the House I grew up in...as much as I would like to leave that place and some of the horrid memories I have there. I see myself reguardless just staying there with my mother and brother and still having my mom stay downstairs late at night to open the door for me whenever I step out to the Bar/club for a little bit...like i've been doing. And I just have a feeling that as much as I would like to travel to a plethora of different places, that my only real trip will be the one i'll be taking at the end of this summer (because I WILL force myself to go on that one!) because i'm such a chicken and hate airplanes. I don't think i'll ever get married or have children. I'm not being pessimistic, i'm being realistic. I also don't think I will ever have a real boyfriend. That is why I have given up on love and the male species altogether. But hey, at least i'll be making an alright amount of money and will be able to support my family financially. That is one thing I would like to do...to die knowing that I helped the people that needed me the most. Again, I am not being down on myself or negative...this is an all too realistic look into my future. I figured too that I might as well face my future now so that I know what to expect. And that is all.

In the meanwhile, I really would like to start drinking some vodka, but because I have this horrid sore throat from battling allergies for two straight weeks, I am afraid to because I know that vodka burns the throat as it is and would probably REALLY burn it!...Well, i'll give it a try anyway. If anybody hears a yelp from abroad it is me reeling from having burned my throat with vodka.

5 more weeks to go!!! (still feels like a lot)