Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Currently: Failed my Neurorehab lab practical and am *nay* close to failing the course. Fuck my life.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Currently: Today has been a "whatever" day so far for me...which I guess is better than a completely shitty day. I'm still trying to recover from this past crappy weekend, but hey, i'll live. Had Research bright and early this morning. After that I had psych/soc lecture. Right now I am in the library procrastinating as usual. Once i'm done here, i'm going to study a little bit and then go to Counseling. After that, I am going to practice lab material for tommorrow's practical with my professor and another classmate of mine. I really hope that it goes well, cause after this weekend I need something to cheer me up some. After that, i'm going back to the apartment for a little bit, then i'm going to see if I could paint my little's letters at one of my other sisters' apartment. That may take me almost all night to do...boo! After that, you guessed it, it's back to studying! I'm just really hoping that my horrible procrastinating habit doesn't get the best of me as it usually does...I mean, I love getting things done...I just don't like what it takes to get things done. Bah! Help!

Mood: Calmly stressed.

Want of the day: To be productive.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Currently: This weekend was beyond shitty for me. Friday night, first off, I went to the mall to buy some more things for my little and ended up standing outside for hours waiting for the damn bus to pick me up. That alone gave me a splitting headache. Later on that night, I found out that a guy that I thought was my friend really just wanted me for sex. Awesome, just awesome. But it doesn't end there. Saturday morning I had to be up bright and early to do some volunteer work for Habitat for Humanity. I was already grumpy that morning from the night before, so the fact that I hadn't gotten enough sleep and was up so early about to go do manual labor just made it worse. That entire morning I was shoveling gravel and did so much work that by the end of it my shoulders were (and still are ) burning the hell out of me. Once that was done and over with, I went back to the apartment, got ready and started off to work. That is when I get a call from one of my friends stating that my mother had called her crying and wondering where I was. Turns out, she had also called my job, my RD, my roomate and my other friend Cara. BEYOND humiliating. I was so upset at her for that. I mean seriously, how the fuck old am I? That's right, 21, not 1! Just because I don't call you on the dot doesn't mean i'm dead...I have a life too, but she doesn't seem to think that. No, I have to be nursing my cellphone all day, counting down to when I have to call her again. RIDICULOUS! I was doing communinty service with my sorority, I was BUSY, for once, what do you expect from me? Do you really want me to drop everything i'm doing just to call you and say (in 5 year old voice) "hey, mommy i'm fine!" NO! That combined with the festivities from the night before and that morning just made everything ten times worse for me. I literally just wanted to strangle somebody. Because I had been so upset all day, I decided to take a temporary trip to the Bar last night, though I was broke off my ass. I did manage to get one pitcher of long island with the little money that I had. I also saw my Bar friend last night and got to speak to her. That made me feel a little better. I woke up today feeling alright, but of course, went back to feeling like shit in no time...and then I went to open lab, where the cherry to the icing was added. I spoke to the girl who's supposed to be my companion to formal to let her know about ticket expenses, when she tells me that she can no longer go with me cause her mother will be over next weekend for some religious retreat...BULLSHIT! Wow, people, really? I am so upset right now. I feel like literally the entire world just collapsed on me. I don't even care what happens to me anymore. Fuck my life.

Mood: Shitty beyond belief.

Want of the day: I really don't care...

Friday, March 27, 2009

Currently: Happy Friday! It is a beautiful day outside, and I must say, I don't feel so bad today. Had Research early this morning and after that, picked up my check and cashed it. After that, I went by that "Signs" store to put in the order for my little's shirt. I also got her a little plant. The total price ended up being over $35!!! Can you believe that?...for a shirt and a plant? AAARRRGGGHH! So needless to say, I already spent almost half of my pay check money. And it doesn't end there, either. I'm at work right now, but once I get out of here, I have to meet with my sister Kathleen at the house to go over Ritual proceedings for initiation night. After that, i'm stopping by the apartment for a little bit and then going to the mall to spend more money. Watching all this money disappear before my eyes is really making me sad...chronically sad. But oh well, I have to do what I have to do for my little. This is just the beginning of a chaotic weekend.

Mood: Okay.

Want of the day: To continue being productive.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Currently: I had a lot planned for today, but a lot of those plans went to hell...so here I am now. Bored, and not knowing what to do with myself. I really should begin studying for my Neurorehab test, but of course i'm procrastinating hardcore. On the bright side, I did start designing my little sister's letters for initiation night. Since she loves Batman, I decided to design all three letters in Batman symbols and then paint the background yellow. I really hope she likes it. I also did some facebook spying and studied the types of clothes she was wearing in every picture (I am not a creeper, I promise) to get an idea of her style and have an appropriate shirt made for her. I concluded from that that I should get her a purple shirt (since she seems to have a fondness for that color) and use fabric with lots of cherries on them to design the letters on the shirt with. I hope she likes that too. I'm going to a "Signs" store tommorrow to get the shirt made. I think it's a cute idea. I also sent my little a message on facebook about having a dinner and movie night in the near future. See what happens. I'm also planning on going to the mall tommorrow evening to purchase a good amount of what I will have to give my little on initiation night. So pretty much, I got a lot of sorority-related chores done, but not so much homework...well, besides doing my Activities File. I'm actually doing pretty well with that. I'm already on my fifth activity, so...only 25 more to go!haha. Oh boy. Anyways, I should get to studying and doing some homework now, so...

Mood: Bored and restless.

Want of the day: To stop procrastinating.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Currently: Last night was fun. My little finally found out that I was her Big. That was pretty exciting. After the big surprise, our entire sorority tree went out to eat. I only had a chesseburger and fries, but that was still enough to stuff me up.Haha. Afterwards, we went to one of the girls in my tree's apartment for a little after party/get together. The party was only meant for my tree, but soon enough other trees started rolling in to crash our party, and before we knew it, almost the entire sorority was partying with us!haha. Interesting, nevertheless. I had a few drinks and ended up being so full that after awhile I no longer wanted to have some of the cake that another one of the girls from my tree made especially for us...and that made me sad, because I was looking forward to that all night...and now i'm craving some allover again!haha. I love my little, I have to say. We are so much alike! Throughout the party last night while everyone was here, there and everywhere and were just mingling, we were the only two that just hung out in the corner together and observed. Some of the girls kept coming up to us too, and asking us why we were just hanging out in the corner. Like Big, like little.Haha. Anyways, today has been today, otherwise. It was Advising day, so I had no classes. After I got up this morning I met up with my Advisor first thing. I'm a little sad, cause I had thought that I only had to take 15 credits for the Fall, but turns out I have to take 18. It's going to be like last semester allover again!=( Oh well. After that, I went by the library to continue work on my Activities File and then met up with some of my Sisters to discuss Ritual proceedings for our Mother/Daughter tea party next weekend. I also stopped by the Chaplain's office to drop off some clothes for the Clothes Drive. After that, I got something to eat and then came right back to my apartment and napped. Other than all of that, I really haven't done much of anything today. I texted one of my friends from class to see if we could do some practicing for the Neurorehab Practical next week, but her fiance's over, so we will most likely have to do all of that tommorrow. *sigh* There's so much for me to do in so little time, it is ridiculous. But I will get through it.

Mood: Good.

Want of the day: To start being productive again.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Currently: Today has been okay thus far. Eventhough it's pretty cold out, it is sunny and the sky is quite blue, so that helped my mood some. Had Research bright and early this morning, followed by psych/soc. Both classes (though boring as heck) went well. I could say, the only time this morning that I was in a near-crappy mood was when I picked up my course Registration Form and saw (via the "Home Address" label at the top) that my mail is STILL being forwarded to my dumass aunt's PO Box. See, few months ago, the dumb bitch decided that it was a good idea to forward our entire family's mail to her PO Box, eventhough she doesn't even live with us. She did, at one time, used to have mail sent to our address, but that was it. She never did, nor does she currently, live at our house with us, but yet felt the need to get a private PO Box and have our entire family's mail sent to it as if it were her own or something. AAAAAAAAHHHH! Shit like that just pisses me off. And of course, I am paying for this. I haven't gotten invoices from my Bank in months because of this, and now she's also most likely getting all of my school info. as well. I can't believe i'm related to someone so stupid. And what's worse is I do not trust her with my mail at all. You'd think that since she's my aunt that I could trust her with anything...but lo and behold, she is not the trustworthy type. Here's one example why I don't trust her with any of my info: not too long ago, she was taking some bootleg LPN class and didn't like the teacher and tried to get ME to attend the class and complete it as her. Seriously? If you're going to commit fraud, at least be smart about it. And that is why I hate my father's side of the family so. Woe is me. But otherwise, I've been feeling fine...for now, at least. Once i'm done typing this up, i'm going to start work on my Activities File and Assertiveness Presentation for my psych/soc. class. After that, i'm getting something to eat and then going to Counseling. After that, I will probably go practice some with my Neurorehab teacher for our lab practical next week. Then after that, I will head back to the apartment and nap. After my temporary escape from this cum-stain of a life, i'm going to continue doing some homework. I may also wash some of the clothes that I plan on dropping off at the Clothing Drive. And that shall be it.

Mood: ??????

Want of the day: To continue getting things done.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Currently: Last night was fun. Though I was vowing to myself that I wouldn't go out to the Bar and would find a nice party to go to instead...expectedly, I caved and went to the Bar anyway. But it's not my fault this time! See, I tried looking for a person to go to the ZBT party with, but it took the one person I was trying to reach forever to return my text. So I got impatient and went to the Bar with my roomie instead. I did have a good few drinks, but didn't get too bad. I also re-united with some girls that I had previously spoken to at the Bar who surprisingly remembered me. Most interesting moment of that encounter was when one of the ladies gave me a lap dance...very unexpected, but actually quite fun!Haha. Of course, that made my roomate feel uncomfortable...but do I care? No, not really. Anyways, I still have $40 for the week, so I didn't do that bad. After that fun settled, we left the Bar and I decided to go check out the ZBT party, while my roomate went home. Unfortunately for me, I get to the party only to be kicked out because I came too late and by the time I got there it was a closed party. That made me sad. But fortunately, one of the brothers was nice enough to give me a ride home. When I got home my roomate was still awake, so we stayed up and chatted for a little while then finally went to sleep. I stayed in bed practically all day today, but then finally decided to brush my teeth, shower and get dressed. I then went and got something to eat. And now here I am. In a few, i'm about to go to the AST meeting and then back to the apartment for whatever else.

Mood: Good.

Want of the day: To continue feeling better.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Currently: Last night, as expected, I did absolutely nothing. On the bright side, I did get to go to bed early and got a good night's sleep. Right now I am at work being bored out of my mind. I'm not feeling too great either. I just feel so drained. I'm so bored with life. There's never really anything great for me to look forward to...or anything that makes me feel so happy that I can't stop smiling...well, besides alcohol. Haha. It really sucks that I don't really have the means to buy as many drinks as I want this weekend. I mean, i'm glad that i'm able to do stuff for my little, but at this point the Bar is my life, and all this spending is getting in the way of me and my one true love.Haha. I'm horrible. But anyways, the ZBT's are having a themed party tonight and i'm thinking about going...but I don't know. I should go just to do something, right? I don't know. I guess it'll all depend on what mood i'll be in later.

Mood: Bleh.

Want of the day: To feel better and to find something fun to do later on.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Currently: Today hasn't been too bad thus far. After Research this morning, I went by the store with one of my sisters to get some more random things for my little sister. After that, she dropped me off at my apartment. I hung out there for a little bit, listened to some 311, and then headed out again to go write a Scholarship Thank you note to one of my scholarship providers. Right now I am in the library doing whatever else. In a few, i'm going to get something to eat and then go to work. After work, i'm going back to the apartment for a little bit and then going over to the house to drop off some of my gifts for my little. After that, I will most likely go back to the apartment and nap. As for later on tonight, I really don't know what i'll be doing. Since I spent so much on my little all this week, I will be unable to go to the Bar tonight.=( Because of that, i'm going to try to see if there are any parties tonight that I can possibly go to. If not, then i'm just going to chill at the apartment for the night. I actually wouldn't be surprised if I ended up doing absolutely nothing for the night. Oh well. I'll most likely be doing a lot of catch-up partying next weekend, so it doesn't bother me that much. Happy Friday!

Mood: Good.

Want of the day: To continue feeling good.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Currently: Tuesday was very up and down for me. For some reason, I spent the entire day in a bad mood, but once I decided to go out for some drinks, things got better. I had a lot of fun. After the Bar, we went to the club where I danced my ass off. I seriously hadn't danced that much in awhile. I loved it. Only thing I could say was a little off about Tuesday night, was when I got back to my apartment and fell asleep in front of my laptop and then woke up in bed with no pants on. I don't remember how I got to bed that night at all. I even managed to get my pants off without unbuttoning or unzipping and don't remember that either. That's the first time that I had done something while intoxicated and had not remembered it. And funny thing is, I wasn't even that drunk! Weird. But anyways, since Tuesday night was good for myself, I was in a good mood for all of Wednesday. And now today. I'm not in the best of moods today. I am trying to make myself feel better, and hope that I do eventually...but I don't know. My mind really puzzles me sometimes. And sadly, I can't go to counseling today because I have to do some shopping with one of my sisters for my Little. I re-scheduled my counseling appointment for Monday, so hopefully i'll be able to make it to that. But let's see what the rest of the day shall bring. It is a beautiful day today, so I really hope I don't waste it by being sad all day.

Mood: ????????

Want of the day: To feel better.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Currently: It is times like these that make me want to peace out of this life.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Currently: These past few days have been going really well for myself. First off, I did get a little...and thankfully, it is the girl that I really wanted. Very excited about that. I also had a relatively great St. Patty's Day weekend. Went out friday night and had a decent time and went out last night and also had a decent (but a little crazy at times) time. That, to me, is a success considering that I usually don't do crap for St. Patty's. Also, although my friend who I had asked to Formal cannot take me (since his formal is on the same day as mine) I did manage to (at the last minute, of course) get my friend Megan to be my date! Haha. She's a very outgoing and spontaneous girl, so i'm sure it'll be a good time.=) Also, tonight during our sorority business meeting, I was actually nominated to receive a "most improved" award at Formal, and that made me happy. Let's hope I actually won. Haha. I was also able to finish up my Fieldwork journal and feel like I did pretty well on the Collegiate Member Exam that we took tonight. So yay me, I deserve a cookie! Haha. I kid. Anyways, tommorrow is another day. Back to having to go to class everyday (bleh), back to the crazy studying and back to my work study job (double bleh), but at least I get to start the week off nice and fresh. I will also begin buying items for my little, which is pretty exciting. Cheers!

Mood: Pretty good.

Want of the day: To continue being kickass.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Currently: Happy Pseudo- St. Patty's Day, all!!! In a few, i'm about to go get my drink on and be happy!...just like a jolly 'ole Irishman would want me to.=)

Mood: Anticipated...

Want of the day: To have a jolly 'ole time!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Currently: Fieldwork today went well. I'm a little sad that tommorrow's my last day at the school, but oh well. I'm just oh so ready for the weekend. I hadn't had a good drink in two weeks straight and am just ready to get my frickin drink on!haha. But for now, i'm just getting a start on my Activities File which is due in two and a half weeks. I'm going to also try to continue studying for my Collegiate Member Exam. yuck. I am so bored right now. The weekend can't start any sooner!

Mood: Bored.

Want of the day: To get a good answer...

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Currently: Fieldwork went well again today. Only thing is, one of the students, who's an open and proud lesbian, has been flirting with me a bit...I have nothing against gay people whatsoever (I mean, my good friend is gay, for chrissakes!) but it is a bit awkward at times, especially since i'm supposed to be professional at all times. I feel that i've been doing a good job though at maintaining a porfessional composure all the while not making it seem as if I am completely uncomfortable with her lifestyle. It is also hard sometimes not to laugh whenever the students make wise ass comments. Like today for example, one of the guys randomly yells out "orgasm!" while reading out of his Science textbook...I couldn't help but snicker some at that. Unfortunately for me, one of the teachers caught me snickering and goes "what were you snickering at?" To which I quickly retort "Oh, nothing, nothing at all." Horrifying. All of this professional stuff is harder than I thought...especially considering that i'm such a goofy person...haha. See what I mean! But anyways, all went well otherwise. After Fieldwork today my fieldwork partner and I had lunch at the Chinese Buffet. That made me happy. After that, I went by the library and worked on my journal and then came right on back to the apartment and napped a little. After that I got back up and went out again for my sorority's pinning ceremony. The ceremony went pretty well...though I had to bitch some people out for breaking some of the ritual rules. And here I am now back at the apartment. Right now, i'm trying to get a start on studying for my sorority's Collegiate Member exam which is on Sunday, but of course, i'm having a hard time with that. I will keep on trying though. In a few, i'm also about to catch my mandatory weekly episode of The Real World: Brooklyn. I'm really liking this season, so thankfully that is something to look forward to. Hopefully I can also get some studying done while the show is on. Right now I am also wishing on every star in the sky, that the guy that I asked out to Formal will be able to go with me. He is a Pike brother and is a pretty awesome guy, and I actually IMed him on Facebook Sunday night and asked him to be my date at Formal; he said that he would love to do it, but fears that the Pike's Formal may be on the same day as ours...he says that he will let me know though. I really hope that it is not, cause i'd really like for him to be my date. I mean, what girl wouldn't want a date that thinks she's a kickass girl (which he has referred to me as, by the way)? Anyways, we'll see what happens. After The Real World, i'm calling it a night and starting anew tommorrow morning!

Mood: Good.

Want of the day: That I get a good guy to take me to Formal.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Currently: Second day of Fieldwork went pretty well. The only downside was when one of the students overheard me saying that I don't believe in God, and got pretty upset about it. He then told some of the other students about it, and surely enough, they were also pretty upset at this. They don't understand why I don't believe and kept asking me an array of questions. I really felt bad, cause I didn't mean to get them upset, but then the teachers told me not to worry about it, and that it was actually a good thing that they overheard me saying that, because it got them into meaningful discussion with each other. That made me feel better. Anyways, I also read with one of the younger students for about 20 minutes, and pretty much just observed and talked to some people for the rest of the day. After Fieldwork, I went and got something to eat, and here I am now. Once i'm done here, i'm going to work. I'll be there until 4 o'clock. After that, i'm going back to the apartment to do whateverelse until I go to bed later on tonight. This week is looking pretty good so far.

Mood: Pretty good.

Want of the day: To continue to feel better.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Currently: Started Fieldwork 1 today and it wasn't that bad. The teachers that I will be working with this week are so incredible and I really give them credit for having the patience to work with some of the insane personalities encountered at this facility. Only downside to today was that I was pretty much starving for most of it.Haha. So once I got back on campus, I went and got something to eat. After that I came here to the library to type my Fieldwork 1 journal for today. And that has been it thus far. After this, i'm going to work and will be there until close...and then i'm going back to the apartment to do some laundry and go to sleep early so that I can be ready for tommorrow.

Mood: Okay.

Want of the day: To continue being productive.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Currently: Listening to Charles Hamilton's version of "Echo" by Incubus. His version is actually called "Stir of Echoes or Sleeping Beauty"...it's hot! I love it! Anyways, leaving the homeland for school later on tonight. I have already put my car back in the driveway and took a nice soothing nap. In a few I have to stop slacking and start packing for my trip. Here we go again!haha. Let the madness begin.

Mood: Relaxed.

Want of the day: That my trip goes okay.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Currently: Today has been exactly so. Stepped out temporarily this morning/afternoon to go pick up some cigs and do my hair. I was too lazy to walk to these places so I drove everywhere. Haha. After that, I came home and took a three and a half hour nap. And that has been it, really. I am leaving for school again tommorrow...already! It's crazy how time flies. These next few weeks are going to be CRAZY for me. All of next week, I have Fieldrwork 1 rotations plus work study and sorority bussiness to attend to. I am also finding out next week if i'll be getting a little and (if I do) who that person is. If I do get a little, I have to buy a bunch of crap for her (as my Big did for me), so I will have to spend wisely and save up if that is the case. I also have to find a date for formal, so that I don't show up looking like a jackass as I did last year.Haha. But my thing is, if I don't find someone to go with, I just won't go altogether and will settle for just partying it up at the Bar for the night...that's a good substitute, isn't it? Haha. And of course, there's the whole Greek Week fiasco at the end of next month. Since we are doing Greek Week this year by ourselves (since the fraternity we were supposed to work with is currently suspended from the University), we ALL have to dance...no ifs, ands, or buts! So that means more late nights practicing dance moves for me...WOOHOO! So needless to say, the next couple of weeks up until I move out of my apartment for summer break are going to be ridiculous...but I know I can pull it all off. I mean, if I was able to pull last semester off without having a massive seizure, then the remainder of this semester will be a gem.=)

Mood: Alright.

Want of the day: To keep being me.=)

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Currently: Sometimes I feel like i'm forgetting about this blog altogether.haha. Anyways, not that much has been going on with me. Went shopping yesterday morning and this morning...so at least I got that done and over with. I got a very pretty new pair of converse shoes and some body spray that smells like heaven...to me at least.haha. I also got a few new pairs of pants and a few shirts. And that's pretty much what i've been up to the past few days. Things at home have (expectedly) been shitty...father dearest is a bigger fucking dickhead than ever and my mom wants to move out of here bad...and so do I. I really hope she actually does what she says this time, cause she's been saying that she wants to move for years and still hasn't done anything about it...so you never know, maybe this year will be different? I don't know. Hate to say this, but I have lost faith in her a long time ago. One thing I like with myself is that if I say i'm going to do something, I do it! I don't talk a bunch of crap and then just sit on my ass and expect things to fall on my lap...that's kind of what she does, and I know she's better than that. The move would be really good for me. This house is fucking falling apart, for chrissakes! Today, some of the neighborhood children were throwing snowballs at each other and one of them hit off the top of part of our fence and knocked a portion of it off...the children just looked at it and laughed. I laughed too, cause seeing that this afternoon was just the official "this place is a fucking mess and what are you still doing here?" for me. Anyways, we shall see.

Mood: Apprehensive.

Want of the day: ??????

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Currently: Once again, I didn't do much today. This morning I temporarily stepped out to pick up some cigs and wax my eyebrows. I then came home and napped for a very long time and have been just chilling out and listening to some music ever since. Since my car needs an oil change and I can only drive around the vecinity (is that spelled right?) of my home, I won't be able to use it to go to the mall tommorrow=(...so father dearest is dropping me off and I may have to take the bus back. Oh well. At least i'll finally be getting that done. This is going to sound tweenish of me, but I really missed the mall while I was gone, so I really look forward to seeing it tommorrow. And that is it. I am off to bed!

Mood: Okay.

Want of the day: To keep being me.=)

Monday, March 2, 2009

Currently: Was snowed in all day today...=( Because of that, I couldn't go shopping. So all I did was...guess...just guess. Yup, I napped, listened to music, smoked and ate all day! Woo! Spring Break! Gotta love it. Anyways, currently listening to "System" by Korn and Linkin Park. What a kickass song...I dedicate it to some people...hahahaha...yea, i'm evil, so what?

Mood: Bored.

Want of the day: To be amused by something.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Currently: Another boring day for me. Just napped, listened to music...a lot, and ate...a lot. That has been it. I texted my friend today to see if she could hang anytime during the week...no dice. So i'm shit out of luck, oh well. I guess I shall stick to the original plan of just shopping and doing my hair and eyebrows. Yay! Anyways, g'night!

Mood: Tired...and a little bleh.

Want of the day: None...really.