Thursday, Oct. 27, 2011

Currently: So I have good news and bad news. Let me start with the bad news; I failed my Boards examination. I was expecting this so it didn't really phase me. Still a bummer though. But GOOD news! One of the agency representatives i've been talking to is super fast paced, so when I told him today that I had failed the exam but am expecting an OTA certificate very soon and am looking to work at a long term care facility in the meanwhile, he right away informed me of another rehab Director that can help me and scheduled an interview for me on Monday in the city! So a win for a loss isn't half bad.haha Also, tommorrow someone's coming to take my car off my hands. I'm not getting a lot of money for the car but i've been wanting to get it the hell out of the driveway to decrease the damn clutter in this house (there's about 4 cars piled in the damn driveway), so the fact that my car gone equals THAT MUCH less clutter, makes me quite okay with it. As for everythingelse...i'm just happy that it's almost Halloween!!...and 18 days after Halloween is my birthday! I'll be 24 this year, so at this point I just look forward to being the center of attention for one day.haha

Dani's Rants part 1: Why I hate Black AND White people

Since the discovery of the new World, there has been this ongoing tension between different cultures; the Native Americans vs. the Whites, Blacks vs. Hispanics, Hispanics vs. Whites, Asians vs. Whites, and so on. But no cultural tension has been as deeply rooted and conflicting as the Whites vs. the Blacks. Let's face it, these two hate each other...for the most part, at least. And though most may choose one over the other because "generally, the Blacks are more fun and boisterous," or..."the Whites are more self-conscientious and well-mannered," at the end of the day there is no real difference besides the stereotypes which separate the two. And I personally could do without both. I know, I know, it's dumb to dislike an entire group of people. But when I say I dislike white and black people, I mean that I find A LOT of black and white people to be distasteful, but not EVERY SINGLE black or white person. As a matter of fact, i've had a lot of friends that were white AND that were black. This rant is not meant to be a racial tirade, but moreso my own personal opinions of why, at the end of the day, both races have good and bad attributes which thus would not cancel out either as being better or worse than the other. So here's my stance on this:

On one side, you have White people. In my opinion white people are the whiniest group I have ever seen. For the most part (and remember: I am not referring to EVERY white person), a lot live comfortable, fullfiling lives. They can live wherever they want, get whatever job they want, and generally are the ones who have long-lasting, stable relationships and seem to lead a very predictable way of life. And everything seems to center around this race. From what we see on tv, to what is sold in stores. Don't believe me? Most tv shows and movies feature predominantly white characters and culturally WASP-y (or white, anglo-saxon, protestant) storylines. And in stores a lot of times clothes are cut especially narrow to flatter white male and female body types...coincidence? I think not. Everything in life seems to fall right on their lap. But yet white people have the highest incidences of suicide, depression, and general psychosis. Now why is that so? Because your girl/boyfriend left you after five years of dating? Or is it because you landed a job in which you are getting paid five thousand less than if you took another job? That is exactly what I mean. And then on the other hand, you have the Whites that are TOO cocky. Like the ones always bragging about how absolutely perfect their lives are just to turn their noses up at others for not being up to their standards. The same ones who can't even open the door for a minority without scratching their throats, or pretend to associate themselves with a minority just to prove that they're not racist. Oh, and lets not forget the preppy little Valley Girl or Valley Guy bitch who thinks that no matter how imperfect or in the wrong he/she is, he/she will ALWAYS be better than a Black person...I know this type from experience. So in general (remember: NOT everybody!), I think that white people should check their egos at the door and stop bitching so much about life. Life is short and you all have a good one; ENJOY it!


And on the other side you have Black people. The same people that bitch and moan about how badly the Whites treat them and how they are so sick and tired of them treating their people like Dogs...are the same ones who will kiss whitey's booty in a minute. Black men are especially guilty of this. They will get upset at the wrongful execution of another Black man (i.e. Troy Davis) and call Republican presidential hopeful Herman Cain a 'false Negro' for joining a predominantly White political party (i.e. Harry Belafonte), but yet these same men will also date any woman BUT a Black woman and will idolize the light, 'exotic' looks of mixed race and/or white women. The double standards that these Black men have also frickin kill me. When I was a Freshman in college, a lot of the Black football players were into the thin white girls and I was no more than a fly on the wall to them...but as soon as they saw me around campus with a white guy ALL hell broke loose. They would ask my roomates "what's wrong with her? Does she not know what's good for her?"...and make other rude remarks behind my back and to my face. So it's okay for a Black man to date any type of woman he wants (which they ALWAYS do anyway!...I don't think a lot of black men even date black women anymore), but yet it's a crime for a black woman to do the same? That is just complete BS to me and I refuse to agree with it. And then you have black women who are-let's face it- complete BITCHES! There are some I have come across with attitudes so bad that I grew to fear them. And I notice, those types of women give the worst attitudes to other black people and tend to be slightly more gentle towards "other" women, but white women especially. And yet they demand respect. Sorry hun, but with that attitude you'll always be the white girl's "supportive friend," or today's equivalent of the "maid." So my advice to Black people: cut the double standard shit, stop kissing ass and then blaming your problems on the white man, and discontinue that nasty attitude problem that so many of you (but not all of you) seem to have.

That is all I ask of the Blacks and the Whites. Oh, and one more thing: we're all going to the same place at the end of it all, so all of this racial supremacy crap is just a big waste of time.

Friday, Oct. 21, 2011

Currently: Looks like it will be awhile 'til I have a job. I mailed out my OTA certificate application since Monday and decided today to call up NYSED and ask approximately when i'll receive my Certificate...I was told that the application itself won't be received by the department until this coming Monday and then it will take an additional week to process it and get my certificate to me...meaning I won't receive my certificate until Halloween day, basically. Wonderful. I'll officially know that I failed the NBCOT exam before that time...so no certificate + knowing that I officially failed= a craptastic Halloween weekend. Great. Oh well. I really don't understand why everything has to go in slow motion for me. In the meanwhile, Time itself surely isn't waiting for my ass. I hate this, I really do. There are times where I feel Life itself is just out to get me. I'm lonely and everything I ever want to get done seem to take FOREVER. I'm just frustrated altogether. That is all I have to say for now in reguards to my personal life. Since things have been quite boring for myself, i've decided I will start doing something different with this blog. I have decided to start writing about my feelings on issues of today that I must get off my chest. My first entry will be about why I hate Black AND White people. I will not be posting that until tommorrow, so whoever's actually reading and following this Blog has to sit tight and wait (Lord knows that's something I ALWAYS have to do)for it!

Monday, Oct. 17, 2011

Currently: So I have a new plan of action. Since an individual in NY with a Masters in occupational therapy is allowed to practice with an occupational therapist assitant license, I decided that I could temporarily work as an OTA until i'm able to pass the Boards exam and become a registered OT. At least that way, I can still practice OT while i'm preparing to sit for the exam again. I have already filled out the application. All I need to do now is mail out the application, which i'll be doing this morning. I have also decided that I would definitely like to move the hell out of this fucking house as soon as I get the chance. Although father dearest the devil's health is failing by the year and he now requires Dialysis treatment just to stay alive, the fucking cunt still finds the energy to be an arrogant piece of shit...and I am SICK of it! As far back as I could remember the man has made my life a living hell; even as a child I didn't like him. It has been almost a quarter century of this fucking crap and I can't take it anymore! The man is like a fucking chronic disease that's causing a slow, painful death. And i'm sorry, but I no longer want to be a part of this shit. The only problem though is now my mother needs me more than ever to help with my brother and me moving out would make it harder on her. I really don't know what to do. I mean, when I think about it, my health is at stake here too. All of this prolonged shit can easily cause high blood pressure, diabetes, and god knows what else! He's the type of person that makes life harder than it has to be...I mean shit, it's hard as it is. This is so frustrating. Either way, I can't wait to start working. At least then I won't have to deal with this shit upfront on a daily basis...that, and i'll actually be making money. Those are the two things I look forward to the most.

Thursday, Oct. 13, 2011

Currently: I finally took the test 2 days ago and it was...well, it was what it was. It wasn't so much the content I had a problem with-the content was actually quite fair and a lot easier than I thought it would be- but more with time management. You basically get 4 hours to answer 200 questions, and I know that sounds like enough time to complete that many questions, but its really not. The questions may have been fairly easy, but you have to read through the entire question and really think about the question and possible answers to answer correctly...that takes up to 3-5 minutes. So before you know it, you're already down to only 1 hour of testing and you're only on question 75! It is not an easy test to take for that reason alone. So basically, my confidence is not very high for this one.Haha But I have already come up with a Master Plan for the next couple of months. I plan basically to find a full-time temporary office job-most likely as a receptionist or data entry specialist. During this time, I will continue to study and practice answering questions in a timely manner. I will also use this time to do other things like FINALLY put my car up for sale and begin re-paying my student loans. And once I am qualified to test again, I will re-schedule, re-take, and hopefully pass the test. And then from there I can apply for licensure and notify the Rehab agency I have been keeping in touch with so that they can send me on some interviews...and then FINALLY I can start working as an occupational therapist! So basically, I have a long road ahead of me for the rest of this year and into 2012.

Sunday, Oct. 9, 2011

Currently: On tuesday I am going in for my second try at being admitted to my Boards exam. I am so nervous that I can already feel my stomach creeping up into my throat. I am nervous because 1) Last time I went I was turned away at the frickin front desk, and 2) Even after I am actually admitted this time...now I would REALLY have to worry about the test itself and it's contents. I have been reading different viewpoints online from individuals who have taken the Test, and the general consensus is that it is really difficult. I have been studying and reviewing every single day, but who knows what question may throw me off. And the worse part is, in between all this bullshit i've been going through merely to earn a piece of paper which says that I may practice occupational therapy in the State of New York, I have lost my excitement and passion for this field. At this point, I just want to pass the test, get everything over with, and start making money. I don't even care about being an OT and vouching for my profession anymore. It really sucks.

And I know that before I have stated that I don't mind leading a monotone day-to-day sort of existence, but now its starting to get to me a little. I feel my life has grown to be TOO monotone. My social life is non-existent, i'm unemployed, and I literally do the same shit every single day. Every day for me involves waking up at around 10:00 am, sometimes earlier, eating, going on Twitter, watching reality and crime shows on tv, napping ocassionally, listening to music, studying, watching Primetime and late night shows at night, going to bed...and then repeating the same old thing the next day. It's been a month since i've been to the city (aka the only place I can go to by myself besides the mall)because one round trip train ticket is very expensive and money's tight in my household. I miss it a lot, but there's nothing I can do about it. Until I have an actual job I cannot spend fruitfully, even on a train ticket. It's very depressing, but I always try not to get myself to that state. At least by tuesday i'll know what my next step will and should be.

Sunday, Oct. 2, 2011

Currently: I received my new ATT letter the other day. So now i'm just waiting to re-schedule the test. In the meanwhile I continue to study everyday and take practice tests. There really is nothing more I can do at this point but hope for the best when the time comes. To pass time and in order not to lose my mind, I have also been daydreaming a lot about movies, reality shows, and places i'd like to visit someday. One movie I caught the other day on BET that I have been thinking a lot about is an independent movie called "I do...I did." It was low budget and some of the acting was a bit overdone...but I actually liked it. I was trying to study and watch it at the same time, but it was hard because I was so interested in the movie that my eyes were literally glued to the screen. I have also been adding a lot of new music to my ipod. What I love with my ipod in particular is that the music in it is so diverse. It's got punk rock, alternative, reggaeton, merengue, 90's music, r&b, rap, literally everything! I really like that about mysellf. I always keep an open mind no matter what, and am interested in a diversity of things as opposed to a specific category of things (i.e. "goth," "emo," "hip-hop," "preppy"). I used to be like that, always trying to categorize myself to which "group" I fit into. I was really just trying to find my niche, but in reality it turns out I never really had a niche afterall. I am one of those people that can't be categorized because i'm my own unique person, and I wouldn't trade that for the world...even if it means being a roaming loner. At least I am a loner who knows what she wants. Anyways, my 24th birthday is in a little more than a month. This time around I plan to just hang at my favorite lounge in the city for the night. That beats sitting at home and doing nothing, which is what i've been doing a lot lately. Hopefully by then i'll also have a job so that i'll have something else to celebrate.