Dani's Rants: A Rant on...some guy

Ah, here we go again...Fortunately, it has been awhile since I did any kind of rant on a member of the opposite sex. As previously mentioned, my libido is practically gone mostly because I know damn well that if after 24 years nothing has happened, then nothing WILL happen!...But of course, every once in awhile the feelings come back a little...especially if I happen to get a little bit of attention...from an attractive guy. So here's what happened; a couple of days ago I went out to see the movie 'Think Like a Man' with some co-workers...which was really nice for a change. After the movie I was planning on going to Applebee's to hang out a little bit and have a couple (ha!) glasses of wine...my co-workers agreed to go with me, so we all went (it was only about three of us). So we are there just hanging out and our waiter comes up and introduces himself to us...and turns out he is an ex-classmate of mine from High School. Now, when I was in High School me and this guy literally NEVER spoke! For one, we hung out with completely different crowds; he hung out with the loud crowd, and I...well I really didn't have a crowd. And second of all, I wasn't as comfortable with myself as I am now and therefore was extremely shy and on-guard all the time. So again, we saw each other around a lot and I had heard a lot about him but we NEVER spoke. So I see him at Applebees and recognize him right away. He, in the meanwhile, gives me a look like he has seen me before but is too uncomfortable to admit that he perhaps remembers me from High School. But i'm not going to lie, upon first seeing him my eyes lit up a bit...I just looked right at him with that 'hey, how you doin'?' look and he kinda looked down awkwardly in return...he is an attractive guy, i'm not going to lie. He's not very tall, but has a nice slender body and smooth, brown skin. His eyes are kind of slanted (which I find exceptionally sexy on black guys for some reason)and he has a slender, strong neck. For some reason i've begun to find a guy's neck exceptionally sexy...and his neck in particular is insane. I especially love when he talks and you can see his veins smoothly bulging out (he manages to pull THAT off!). So anyways yes, I was checking him out a little bit and I do think he noticed...and liked it. But he was still too bashful and ashamed to admit that he knew me...until I ordered my glass of wine, that is. At that point he asks to see my id and I right away answer "Come on, man YOU should know my age!" It is then that he says "hey, you look familiar...did you and I attend the same High School?"...DING DING DING!!!!! After that, all flowed pretty well. We joked with each other a lot and my co-workers and I ended up tipping him pretty well. One of my co-workers even went as far as saying that I should give him a try and that he seems to like me (she claims that she could tell by the way he nearly ran her over while rushing to bring my food over to me). Well...as i'm handing him his tip, he hands ME a blank receipt with his number on it...I COULD NOT believe it!...and actually, I found it kind of cute how he did it right in front of my co-workers...he was always one of those daring types of guys. Anyways, the following evening I texted him and we actually had a nice conversation. I appreciated the fact that he didn't text me back 1-2 word statements...he actually seemed interested enough in the conversation to text me his complete thoughts. I liked that. I know that at the end of the day, he's a guy with a 'bad boy' history, and as far as I have seen he is not doing much with his life...but apart of me yearns for his attention. Since Monday he hasn't texted me, and I don't want to text him again because I don't want to be the one constantly initiating our conversations...in my opinion, if he's generally interested in me, he has my number now, so he could text me himself! That's how guys operate. If they really and genuinely care about a person or a relationship, then they'll do whatever it takes to have it! I learned that lesson the hard way...Anyways, so he hasn't texted me since and i'm not even about to text him...so basically, if I never hear from him again...then well, that is how it stays. But at the same time a part of me wishes I could hear from him more often...just to know that there's someone out there (a bad boy at that) that wants me. When we texted on Monday he was telling me about his in-between career as a battle rapper and told me about some videos he had posted on You Tube (which he also bragged have received over 1,000 views)...and i'm not going to lie, I have been watching some of his videos. Do I think he tries too hard to portray himself as 'hood'? Yes. Do I feel he should stop hanging out with and acting like ghetto trash? Absolutely. But does that 'image' still turn me on in a way? Guilty. I am especially struck at his intensity whenever he tries to throw an insult at his 'opponent'. I was watching one of his videos, and there's actually a part in it where he gets so heated that he very swiftly takes his cap off ( and again the veins bulge out of his neck, haha)...and i'm not going to lie, at that point I could have sworn that I came on myself...yea. I feel like sometimes I watch his videos to maintain some sort of connection to him somewhow...but NOTHING compares to the real thing...and that is the unfortunate part. Either way, it just amazes me how one cute bad boy handing me his number rearranges my entire week! I hope to put this all behind me...cause realistically, I guy like him and a lady like myself CANNOT date each other. Not only that, but if I never hear from him again, what other choice do I have but to carry on with my boring life?

Dani's Rants: A Rant on being 'Grown up'

Most people, after they graduate from College or High School for good, bitch and complain about how much they miss being in school and having little responsibilities. They miss the good times of hanging with their friends and being a part of cliques...but I feel just the opposite of this. As a matter of fact, I LOVE being 24, working, and getting to keep most of my earnings all to myself! Ever since I officially graduated in late July/early August of last year, life basically opened itself up to me. One of the things I hated most about school was that you almost never got a break! If you weren't in class listening to boring lectures, you were stuck at home slaving over Homework...even during Holiday and Spring Breaks, teachers and professors just have to give you these big and tedious research projects to do...in the end it is the student that ends up with no real vacation as the teachers are sunning their buns in the Bahamas...but I don't have to worry about any of that bullshit anymore. Once you're out of school, all you do is go to work, slave for a couple of hours, and then come home and relax with your piece of mind. Yes, you have a lot of very important responisibilities like Bills, Taxes, etc...but as long as you're a responsible adult, you can come by these headaches and then enjoy yourself. Since I have entered 'adulthood,' i've gone to California, saw a favorite off-Broadway show of mine for the second time, and now I have already booked a trip to Miami Beach for June and am going to go see the musical 'Evita' on cinco de mayo! As a student, I was NEVER able to do ANY of these things because I wasn't earning any money of my own and my mother could never afford to do these things for me. And it won't end there for me! In the near future I plan to continue traveling and seeing as many Broadway musicals as I can and want to, and i'm going to start attending musical concerts as well. I am living a life now that I always wanted to live...free and with something to look forward to all the time. And coming to this realization has made me very happy that I am single with no children...again, most of my earnings stay in my pockets, allowing me to go to as many concerts, musicals, and places as I want and choose to! Right now I can literally be living the life of those people that you see on the Travel channel...eating fine foods, drinking the finest wine, going to the best lounges, sleeping at the fanciest Hotels...THAT is living right there! That is what a 24/25 year old is meant to do...not sitting at home with a wife or husband nagging you to death and having a child to constantly worry about. Whoever feels like that is how soemone my age should be living...well, more power to you, but that is a very foolish and old fashioned way of thinking. But that's just me. I could live this way for the rest of my life and be perfectly fine. I'm finally satisfied with my life and I didn't have to try!

Dani's Rant:A Rant on...that Time.

WARNING: The following passage contains subject matter of a sensitive female nature. If you are a male, I recommend you read no further than this paragraph. You have been warned.





I have been noticing a couple things about myself when I get my period lately. For one, before I get my period I am always hungry! And when I say hungry I mean hungry to an EXTREME! Like constantly craving a snack or a meal hungry. And I crave for things that are horrid for my body like Chinese food, pasta, chocolate, etc. And then a couple of days before my period, I find myself barely having the strength to get out of bed and literally FORCING myself. And then when I finally do get up, I feel like I was asleep under a boulder all night...in other words, I feel like complete garbage. And when my Period finally decides to show, I literally know when it's there...without even having to go to the bathroom to discover it. I know because I almost always have some sort of cramp underneath my belly...followed by a sensation of "something" flowing out of my vagina...and then I go to the bathroom and lo and behold! And the worst part of all is when i'm on my period i'm horny as all hell. Ironically, when i'm not on my period I do not think about sexual relations at all...like, never. But as soon as I get my period, I have these sexual urges and I lust like crazy over any guy I could think of, whether it be Michael B. Jordan, my imaginary boyfriend Jason, or some other guy I may find attractive. In the meanwhile, it is the most inappropriate time for me to be longing for sex...I mean, I am bleeding out of my vagina for chrissakes! I never used to get horny during my Period whatsoever. As a matter of fact, my period used to be merely an event full of pain, throwing up, and numbness. Basically, my period has always made me sick...ever since I was a teenager at least. But my menstrual symptoms were never this extreme! I am even PMSing now...that is also something I never used to do. The other day before my period decided to arrive for this month, I was very agitated and mean-spirited for no reason! And not only that, once I got to work I could just feel that something wasn't right so I decided to take my blood pressure and it was higher than usual. I then started feeling anxious and apprehensive for no apparent reason. I really don't understand any of these symptoms and why they are appearing at this time of my life, but for now i'm going to assume that it has to do with me getting older. They sure don't make it any easier for me to cope with that time of the month.

A Rant on Lust

I'm not going to lie, not being in a relationship has made my tendency to dream and lust after people I don't even know very frequent. My current "target" is a man by the name of Michael B. Jordan (not the famous Basketball player). He's in a new movie coming out called "The Chronicle" and one currently out called "Red Tails." There's just something about him...his skin, his smile, his LIPS! I haven't been so in lust in so long. This morning on the train I was fantasizing about the things I would do to Michael...I blew my own mind; I would eat him alive for real. I would wear very little but still something cute and seductive; something that would accentuate me and my body type. I would then start off by kissing his lucious, full lips uncontrollably and then biting them...the latter would most likely lead to some sort of lip licking and or biting on his part...and that would also be precisely the time that I would go wild. We would then proceed to some feeling, rubbing and grabbing and clothes would start to come off for sure. He would most likely then let out a grand pant and lift me up furiously, thrusting my body onto his. I would kiss his neck and lick and nibble his ears. I would then make my way down to his pants, lifting his shirt and rubbing on his abdomen along the way, and very swiftly unzip...I would then proceed to suck him off with all my might. Hearing his panting and groaning would not only empower me, but would also strengthen my sexual intensity. At this point we would have to put the radio on and turn up the volume so that nobody in the surrounding area would hear my screams. And then about two hours later I would let out one last big sigh...and it would be over. Yup, that's what I was thinking about on the damn Subway this morning. It's a good thing I didn't miss my stop!haha. But now that I have actually detailed the entire fantasy itself, I feel a lot better. : )

A Saturday night Rant

Hello all! *crickets*...Anyways...I am currently enjoying a nice glass of Kikkoman Plum Wine and figured "why not just make an entry for my favorite Blog that I always seem to forget?"Haha To be honest, I really don't have anything really important to say...I AM happy though that I was able to go to the Hair Salon today and get light brown (or gold) Highlights put in my hair! I'm telling you, I look SO fab! I really wish my camera had batteries, so that I could take a pic of how it turned out and post it here!...but of course, my camera has no battery so...Needless to say though I feel amazing!...It is really interesting how something as simple as a nice hairdo can turn one's entire day around. Another thing I wish is that I had money to go out and show off my new hair...well, technically I DO have the money but would rather save it for things like Bills, Tests, vacations, and emergencies. To me those things are more important than a night out on the town...especially considering how ridiculously EXPENSIVE one drink in New York city costs! Besides, on the 4th of next month (which is a Friday) I will be attending a dinner with my co-workers...so that could count as an "outing" of some sort, if you will...and it's FREE!Haha. So for the remainder of this Saturday night I guess i'll be spending it drinking my wine, watching music videos, going on Twitter, and listening to music...and I wouldn't have it any other way. ; )

Monday, Jan. 2, 2012

Currently: So we have hit the New Year! To me a New Year doesn't necessarily mean a 'new beginning,' as I find every year to be a repetition of the previous...basically, to me REAL change takes more than just one year to accomplish...but that's just me. Damn, I should have made this a 'Dani's Rants' post.Haha But anyways, its 2012 and all I can say is that I hope I can accomplish a few things this year...notice I say 'hope to accomplish' and not 'change my entire life around.' The first and foremost thing I want to accomplish is to pass my Boards exam so that I can get an even better paying job...not going to lie though, I am pretty content with what i've been getting paid. But I do have my Masters and can be getting paid A LOT more than that, so why not go for it? I also want to make it out to the Dominican Republic this summer...and that is really it. For the rest of the year I just plan to continue carrying on and hustling...haha. As long as I accomplish my top two goals, I am pretty much fulfilled for the year.

Dani's Rants: How can I make my life more exciting?

I always thought that once I started working life would be a lot more fun and exciting...unfortunately, that is far from the truth. Sure working at least keeps me busy and occupied with something...but I think that's the only added Bonus to it. I still don't have a lot of friends so during the weekends I don't go anywhere or socialize...and even if I were to find someone to go on the occasional outing with, i'm always tired from work by the time weekends arrive! On top of that too you have Bills, bills, bills; i've already begun paying off my loans. So how do I even save up enough money to go out? I'm starting to feel that that's what life itself is; completely boring. People are so busy with obligations and personal matters, it's hard to find time for the more enjoyable things in life. Even when I do try to find ways to amuse myself, nothing seems to fulfill well enough. I feel like in order to fully enjoy life, one must have a job that requires them to travel a lot; at least you get to change settings and experience different worlds. I would love to do travel therapy...only problem though is i'm the type of person who has an attached type of personality...meaning once I grow used to a place I can never leave it. I hate that about me! For example, i've been in New York all my life and though I find San Francisco, California to be a lot more breath-taking and fun to live in, I STILL don't want to leave New York! I think apart of it is fear and being in a new setting all by myself. But i'm also the type of person who LOVES having something new and exciting to look forward to. That's why it has also been so hard trying to figure out my next vacation. One minute I want to go to Punta Cana, DR, next minute I want to visit Hollywood...then the next minute I want Mexico or Vegas...I want to be everywhere!haha But it is hard too to get to those places without money...and I haven't even started saving up to retake my Boards yet. But anyways, at the end of all of this is the question; why does life have to be so boring? Why can't simple things like waking to a beautiful day (which it really is) fulfill the soul enough? Or going to the Salon and getting a new hairdo? Why can't things like that keep me going for an entire day? Maybe i'm the only one that feels this way...but I doubt it.

Dani's rants part 2: I wish I had your boyfriend

Now this may sound catty and selfish of me...but there's a couple I used to know in College that I can't help but envy. The girl, i'm going to call her "Kelly," was in my sorority and isn't what you would call the typical Media-approved beauty. She's chunky and has nice curly brown hair, but her face is filled with quite a few blemishes and she kind of bares a resemblance to Miss Piggy. Her boyfriend "JC" in the meanwhile is this cute and charming guy. He has boyish looks (which I really like for some reason) and is what you would call the classic gentleman...I guess that comes from being an Eagle Scout. JC seems like the kind of guy that gives his all in a relationship. Kelly always raves about what a great boyfriend he is...and I believe her. I have hung out with Kelly and JC on a couple of occassions and was impressed from the first time I met him. The day I met him, I was sitting at the front seat in one of my other sorority aquaintances car. When he got in I decided I was going to not introduce myself and completely ignore him because I was having one of those days where I didn't want to be bothered by anybody. Usually when I do that to anybody, but especially a guy, the person doesn't bother with me because they know that I do not want to be bothered. JC did just the opposite. He saw that I wasn't in the mood to initiate conversation, so he introduced himself to me on his own with no help from myself or anybodyelse. I was really impressed at that because that showed me that he was at least somewhat genuinely interested in getting to know me. I also got to hang with Kelly and JC during St. Patrick's Day weekend. It was quite a fun time...probably one of those times that i'll never forget. But for some reason, what made it even better was JC being nice to me and treating me with respect. Unlike most guys, throughout our time hanging out JC frequently made conversation with myself and made sure to include me in any of the group activities. At one point he even said I looked good. In another instance we were left alone for a little bit and at that point I was complaining about my feet hurting from the shoes I wore that night...when I did this, he looked at me with genuine concern and urged me to take my shoes off so that my feet wouldn't hurt anymore. Call me crazy, call me corny, but that moment touched me. I saw JC again during Spring Formal and a social gathering my Sorority held at the Beach. Both instances he made sure to greet and talk to me no matter what. During Formal in particular, I had him take a picture of me and my friend Jenn and after he took it he looked at the camera and said "beautiful." He then stayed at our table for quite awhile talking to me...after awhile I had to tell him to not forget his girlfriend at the other table. Also I notice that everytime he and Kelly would pass me somewhere he would have that smile on his face like he was genuinely happy to see me. Last time I got to hang out with him was at a Baseball game, and Kelly and I were joking about what man at the ball park I could take home. I notice as we were joking he seemed kind of...dare I say it...jealous? He didn't laugh at one joke I made about wanting to pick up one particularly attractive guy that was at the game, and then picked out the ugliest guy sitting near us and joked about HIM being my man. And then on our way back home I was talking about wanting to go to Vegas for vacation and he said to me "We should go together, JB." Haha, I really wish I could go anywhere with him...doesn't he sound cute as a button? Who knows, he could just be a really nice guy who genuinely wants to be friends with his girlfriend's friends, but a part of me wishes that he were attracted to me. The only down side to that though would be the fact that i'd be stealing Kelly's boyfriend away from her...and i'm really not that kind of person...besides, Kelly and I always got along. But I must say; she is a lucky girl. They have been dating for a year and some change and I definintely see it going strong. JC's the type of guy that no girl ever would want to let go...kind of like a rare but refreshing flower in a bush of dying weeds. There are days where I wake up and wish that he were my boyfriend. He seems like the type of guy that sends his girlfriends "I love you" texts first thing in the morning...I like that sort of thing! I want to be the girl that falls asleep in his arms while watching a movie...the girl that he takes goofy pictures of as he's kissing me. But Kelly has already won her man and who knows, maybe she deserves him more than I do...or maybe it just wasn't meant to be.

Dani's Rants part 1: Why I hate Black AND White people

Since the discovery of the new World, there has been this ongoing tension between different cultures; the Native Americans vs. the Whites, Blacks vs. Hispanics, Hispanics vs. Whites, Asians vs. Whites, and so on. But no cultural tension has been as deeply rooted and conflicting as the Whites vs. the Blacks. Let's face it, these two hate each other...for the most part, at least. And though most may choose one over the other because "generally, the Blacks are more fun and boisterous," or..."the Whites are more self-conscientious and well-mannered," at the end of the day there is no real difference besides the stereotypes which separate the two. And I personally could do without both. I know, I know, it's dumb to dislike an entire group of people. But when I say I dislike white and black people, I mean that I find A LOT of black and white people to be distasteful, but not EVERY SINGLE black or white person. As a matter of fact, i've had a lot of friends that were white AND that were black. This rant is not meant to be a racial tirade, but moreso my own personal opinions of why, at the end of the day, both races have good and bad attributes which thus would not cancel out either as being better or worse than the other. So here's my stance on this:

On one side, you have White people. In my opinion white people are the whiniest group I have ever seen. For the most part (and remember: I am not referring to EVERY white person), a lot live comfortable, fullfiling lives. They can live wherever they want, get whatever job they want, and generally are the ones who have long-lasting, stable relationships and seem to lead a very predictable way of life. And everything seems to center around this race. From what we see on tv, to what is sold in stores. Don't believe me? Most tv shows and movies feature predominantly white characters and culturally WASP-y (or white, anglo-saxon, protestant) storylines. And in stores a lot of times clothes are cut especially narrow to flatter white male and female body types...coincidence? I think not. Everything in life seems to fall right on their lap. But yet white people have the highest incidences of suicide, depression, and general psychosis. Now why is that so? Because your girl/boyfriend left you after five years of dating? Or is it because you landed a job in which you are getting paid five thousand less than if you took another job? That is exactly what I mean. And then on the other hand, you have the Whites that are TOO cocky. Like the ones always bragging about how absolutely perfect their lives are just to turn their noses up at others for not being up to their standards. The same ones who can't even open the door for a minority without scratching their throats, or pretend to associate themselves with a minority just to prove that they're not racist. Oh, and lets not forget the preppy little Valley Girl or Valley Guy bitch who thinks that no matter how imperfect or in the wrong he/she is, he/she will ALWAYS be better than a Black person...I know this type from experience. So in general (remember: NOT everybody!), I think that white people should check their egos at the door and stop bitching so much about life. Life is short and you all have a good one; ENJOY it!


And on the other side you have Black people. The same people that bitch and moan about how badly the Whites treat them and how they are so sick and tired of them treating their people like Dogs...are the same ones who will kiss whitey's booty in a minute. Black men are especially guilty of this. They will get upset at the wrongful execution of another Black man (i.e. Troy Davis) and call Republican presidential hopeful Herman Cain a 'false Negro' for joining a predominantly White political party (i.e. Harry Belafonte), but yet these same men will also date any woman BUT a Black woman and will idolize the light, 'exotic' looks of mixed race and/or white women. The double standards that these Black men have also frickin kill me. When I was a Freshman in college, a lot of the Black football players were into the thin white girls and I was no more than a fly on the wall to them...but as soon as they saw me around campus with a white guy ALL hell broke loose. They would ask my roomates "what's wrong with her? Does she not know what's good for her?"...and make other rude remarks behind my back and to my face. So it's okay for a Black man to date any type of woman he wants (which they ALWAYS do anyway!...I don't think a lot of black men even date black women anymore), but yet it's a crime for a black woman to do the same? That is just complete BS to me and I refuse to agree with it. And then you have black women who are-let's face it- complete BITCHES! There are some I have come across with attitudes so bad that I grew to fear them. And I notice, those types of women give the worst attitudes to other black people and tend to be slightly more gentle towards "other" women, but white women especially. And yet they demand respect. Sorry hun, but with that attitude you'll always be the white girl's "supportive friend," or today's equivalent of the "maid." So my advice to Black people: cut the double standard shit, stop kissing ass and then blaming your problems on the white man, and discontinue that nasty attitude problem that so many of you (but not all of you) seem to have.

That is all I ask of the Blacks and the Whites. Oh, and one more thing: we're all going to the same place at the end of it all, so all of this racial supremacy crap is just a big waste of time.