Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Currently: Feeling a little better today, but still a little sad. On the bright side, I'm almost settled with the Collections Dept. Long story short, a bank sent me to Collections for an unfair debt that I owed them. Because of this, I cannot even start a new checking account. So hopefully by friday I can make a payment to Collections and be practially done with it. I really want to open a checking account, cause having a Savings account is not as good, nor is it as flexible. Anyways, other than that, nothing else really positive to report. My car will most likely have to be towed over to the mechanic's cause the wheel is still jammed. I most likely need a new cylinder and will have to take a crap load of money out of my pockets to purchase it. I will also be spending on towing and however much it costs for the mechanic to install the new cylinder. I also need a crap load of money for Sister Weekend in a few weeks. Bleh. And though I was supposed to be hanging out with my friend from High School this saturday, our hangout has been postponed cause he didn't realize that it will be the 4th of July and his family is expecting him to be home. We are trying to think of another time to hang out, but both have a busy few weeks coming up so it's going to be hard. So what do I have to look forward to??...the Sun, maybe? Or a glass of wine? I think I like the wine idea a lot...

Monday, June 29, 2009

Currently: So...i'm still very sad and full of angst on the inside, but that's not what I want to complain about today. See, I go on facebook today to discover that yet another one of my classmates is engaged. My question to that is, since when was it "cool" to get married at 21 years old? Since when was it oh so horrible to actually be single at that age? Why must girls these days rush at such young ages to lose their virginity so they are not mocked or laughed at for being "too late" or "behind the times"? I only ask these questions because I feel like i'm the only girl I know with enough sanity to not rush into sex, relationships or marriage...cause I really don't have to. I'm 21, for chrissakes, I have plenty of time to do all of those things! I am getting so tired of hearing of or seeing a new person who has just got engaged and is oh so happy and excited...keep that shit to yourself...please? I mean, i'm not going to lie, I would be excited if I were engaged to the love of my life too, but I guess since that hadn't happened to me i'm a little bit...bitter. It's hard when you have never loved and been loved in return. I got a little feel for what that was like once, but it was a very brief feel...and I wanted more. Who knows when i'll ever get that opportunity again. I still believe that one should take her time when it comes to sex, relationships and marriage, but I can't help but long for all of the aforementioned myself.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Currently: Ever since what happened those few nights ago, things have been horrible around here. Father dearest is a bigger asshole than ever, my mother's extremely miserable and is dying to get out of here...and I have been feeling tormented. Not good. I can't even rest assure anymore, because of this extreme feeling of angst and apprehension lurking inside of me. I have also been really restless and not really knowing what to do with myself. Yesterday evening coming home I was so distraught that in a rush I ended up accidentally locking the steering wheel of my car and now the key won't turn in the ignition. Luckily, the devil didn't flip out over it and is taking care of it. On the bright side, I have been hearing from some of my "friends." They actually wanted me to hang out with them this weekend, but since my week has been so awful, I haven't been in the mood to do anything remotely fun. I am planning on hanging out with an old guy friend of mine from High School next Saturday though, so that should be cool. It'll give me a well-deserved escape from the Lifetime movie that is my life. I don't even enjoy listening to music that much anymore, and that's definitely not a good sign, especially considering that I always use music to feel better whenever i'm really down. But no, this time I think i'm too down for even a few musical notes to pick up.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Currently: So...shit went down tonight. I was upstairs watching a movie when all of a sudden I hear father dearest downstairs yelling his head off. At first I think it's business as usual, so I just think to myself "what the hell is his problem now?" and let it go. Minutes later I hear him yelling even louder and telling my mother to leave the house. I then can hear her screaming a little bit too. That is when I really get worried. So I put the tv on mute and can hear him yelling and complaining. I think something serious must have happened so I turn off the tv and make my way downstairs. As I am going downstairs I can hear my mother outside calling the police. I get downstairs and of course he is still complaining and I still don't see my mother anywhere, so out of fear I go down in the basement and smoke a few cigarettes. While i'm downstairs I hear a loud knock at the door followed by father dearest screaming "Who's there?! Who's there?!" I go upstairs to see what's going on and see a policeman at the door. Apparently, father dearest had hit my mother in the back of the head and then cursed my uncle out on the phone and that is why she called the police. To make a long story short, they didn't arrest the bastard, but they did file a report on him and warned him that if he ever hit her again they are going to have to arrest him. After they left, he complained a little more and went on to say that my mother's trying to ruin his life and that she's possesed by the devil. He then went upstairs. *sigh* I'm really at a loss for words right now. I honestly don't even know what to think or feel anymore. But nevertheless, life goes on and I must continue to keep my head up no matter what. Let's see what tommorrow brings...is all I can say.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Currently: Today was a "blah" day for me...very boring and just...crap. Work was slow and monotonous as usual, and then I came home and took a very long nap...that lasted well into this evening. I actually got up not too long ago. Haven't heard from my "new friends" in awhile...which goes to show how full of shit men really are. I'm not attracted to any of them anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter. I'm just really bored in general. Lately, there hasn't really been anything for me to look forward to. Some "summer vacation," huh? I guess being away for a week for Sister Weekend won't be so bad. At least i'll get to be away from this place and be around people my age and do things that are semi-fun. I can't stand being so bored for so long. Anyways, about to go back to bed again, so...good night.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Currently: Same old, same old, for today. Went to work, was bored out of my mind all day, came back home, watched some tv...and here I am now. I'm about to watch a little bit of a movie and then call it a night. Since I didn't take a nap this evening, I know that once I hit that bed I will be out like the light...at least i'll get a good night's sleep out of it.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Currently: Was at home all day today not doing much of anything at all...though I did briefly step out this morning to get father dearest the devil a card...but this time, unlike last year, I didn't put a $20 bill in the card. He's lucky he even got anything at all. After all he has put me through thus far for my summer vacation, a 54 cent card is very generous! But anyways, right now i'm trying to pass some time until dinner's ready. Will probably go down in the basement and smoke a cig and then watch some videos on You Tube. *sigh* I have run out of options. Whatever the case, Happy Father's Day to all the GOOD fathers out there! As for the low-life, good for nothing, douchebag ones; eat rocks.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Currently: So once again I am at home on a Saturday night doing absolutely nothing. I am so bored. Anyways, earlier today I helped my mother run some errands, so at least I did something worthwhile, right? Tommorrow's Father's Day and I really don't like it, cause i'm practically being forced to get father dearest the devil something so that he won't bitch and bitch and bitch all day...which is something that he'll manage to do anyway. He pisses me off so much. It's because of him alone that I can't wait to move out of this godforsaken place. I'm actually thinking of moving to the other side of the country...like to the opposite coast. Is that a good idea? I figured any place would be better than here anyway. Anyways, it also looks like i'll definitely be attending Sister Weekend this year...that is, if it's okay with my bosses. See what happens. I really wish I were out drinking right now, otherwise, I wouldn't be *nay* close to being grumpy. *sigh* Oh, and let me not fail to mention...the people who live behind me have been blasting their music for hours and it's annoying the fuck out of me! I was even trying to watch the movie "Lakeview Terrace" 30 minutes ago and couldn't even concentrate that well on it because of the godamn music! Talk about no consideration. Anyways, i'm outie. Good night.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Currently: Picked up my car yesterday morning at the Body Shop place...they did a pretty good job. I have a brand new trunk and bumper. I am very happy about that. The guys were pretty nice, too. If only they'd have fired the jerk who hit me! Anyways, I digress. Right now I am sitting at home with absolutely nothing to do. Usually, my uncle takes me out for drinks, but hasn't been able to the past few weekends for some dumb reason. Neddless to say, I have been pretty bored. I hadn't had a good trip out to the city in awhile either, which makes me really sad. Unfortunately, I cannot go tommorrow cause we're expecting to have some shitty weather around here...*sigh* what can I say?

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Currently: About to go pick my car up from the shop in a few. They fixed it quick! I was impressed. Anyways, after I pick it up, i'm driving straight to work. Bleh. Wish me luck on that. Right now, i'm trying to calm my nerves by listening to "Let me love you down" by Inoj. It's a good song. The weather sucks too, so that definitely isn't helping my mood any, so something has to. I just hope this day is a good one.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Currently: Went by that place today to get my car repaired. While there I reunited with the dumbass who hit me. Not surprisingly, he made it seem as if he wasn't the culprit when I knew damn well that he was! Thing is, the day of the accident he had blue contacts on and today he knew that I was dropping by, so he took them off...but I'm not stupid, I remember what he looked like and it was definitely him. What pissed me off even more was not only the fact that he was acting as if it weren't him, but also the fact that he started acting like a wise ass and saying that in order for him to repair the damages, I have to bring my car in a lot earlier so that he could have the entire day to do so...excuse me, dude, YOU hit my car, so right now we are working on MY time, not yours! He should be kissing my feet right now, cause I could have called the police on his ass. It's not my fault you don't know what to do at a red light. Fucking imbicile. ANYWAYS, to make a long story short, his manager came out and took all my car's info. and has put an order in for my new car part. It may take up to a week for the part to be in. In the meanwhile, I have to be extra careful and make sure i'm not in the way of any other asshole aggressive drivers, so that I don't end up with double the trouble. *sigh* Anyways, the rest of the day went well, otherwise. I got to catch up on some rest, listen to some music, watch some videos and watch some movies. Tommorrow is back to work for me. *Yawn* I really hope I get to get out this weekend, otherwise I will lose it...isn't it sad that it is only Monday and already I want for it to be Friday evening?Haha. I know i'm not the only one though.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Currently: So...today was today. Went out earlier today to pick up some cigs. After that, I did my hair...which looks pretty nice, by the way. Anyways, tommorrow's another shitty day. I will be skipping out on work to go get the back of my car fixed up. Blah. I have a feeling it's going to take forever and a day...either way, I hope it goes by fast so that I don't have to frickin worry about it anymore. And I also hope I don't have anymore fender benders...I would seriously have to kill somebody. But I do hope the rest of the week goes well, at least...and hopefully on friday I can go out for some drinks, cause lord knows how much I need them right now!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Currently:On my way to work this morning I got into a fender bender. Coincidentally the guy that hit me works for a body work shop, so he gave me his number and the times that he will be around at work so that I can come and have the back of my car fixed, no charge. Of course, I should have called the police to file a report, but since this had been the first time this had ever happened to me and I was panicky and disoriented, I didn't even think about it. And of course, father dearest flipped out and said I should have called the police. He never understands. Anyways, I am still at work now and not looking forward to having to drive back home. I am still in shock and a little shooken up from this morning, so the last thing I want is to encounter more crazies later on...but since it is friday and raining, that is to be expected. Fuck. This summer has been crap thus far, and I don't know why. I feel like i'm in the twilight zone.

Mood: Apprehensive

Want of the day: For everything to be okay.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Currently: Hmmm...nothing to report. All I did today was work and then nap after work. *sigh* If only I didn't have such a monotonous job...I mean, I am grateful to atleast have a job that pays...but what sucks is, I have absolutely nothing to look forward to day after day. Oh well, I digress. As for everythingelse...I can't even think of anything interesting...actually, no, I lied. I've been a lot more confident as of late, probably due to the fact that I have been able to make new "friends" everywhere I go...i'm not really attracted to any of these guys, but the fact that i've been even attracting so many of them has given my low self-esteem quite a boost. I'm hoping too that I can atleast gain one meaningful friendship from one of these guys. *shrugs* We shall see. I have also been trying to find new hobbies besides just listening to music, which includes watching movies, reading books and watching non-musical videos on You Tube...they are not that far of a leap from the music thing, but it is a start. And...that is all for now. Good night.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Currently: So today i'm sitting in my car, waiting for the light to change, minding my business, when all of a sudden some asshole feels the need to not wait for the light to change and speeds past all the cars in front of him on the wrong lane and knocks out my left mirror. Luckily, the mirror didn't break and I was able to re-attach it, but now the mirror isn't positioned correctly so I can't even see other cars behind me that well. And of course, I dare not tell father dearest about this and get blamed for yet another thing that wasn't my fault. I'm going to wait when he's not around to try to re-position my mirror. In the meanwhile, i'm really upset at my brother right now. I mean, I know he's autistic and a lot of his actions are not his fault, but since I had already had a bad day him doing something out of ignorance just sets me off even more. I need a drink.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Currently: So...nothing awesomely awesome to report here. My car has finally been fixed, so that's a plus. For some reason these days, i've been really tired and in a "whatever" mood...and of course, I really don't know why. I guess it's all part of my rest-of-life plan to just take everything day by day, step by step...whatever works. Happy half of the year all!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Currently: Father dearest really pissed me off today, so...when he wasn't looking, I spit in his food. You don't mess with a scorpio.