Currently: Last night started out well, but then ended rather strangely. After the AST business meeting, I decided to venture out to the Bar to meet up with some of my sisters. The walk over there was once again hell, but it was all good once I got into the Bar itself. So I get in, drink like four (or five) Jack and Cokes and just talk to my sisters for awhile...until the DJ starts playing some music and more girls I know show up. As soon as this happens, I get up and start dancing like there's no tommorrow!haha. It was so much fun...at that point I could just feel the adrenaline rushing throughout my body...it was just so euphoric. But then, all of a sudden and unexplainably even for myself, I start to feel really down and abruptly stop dancing. I go sit by the Bar by myself and start thinking about random things...I then go to the bathroon stall and start crying...a lot. For what reason? I still have no idea. How does one go from feeling so great to feeling like a complete piece of shit? I really don't understand. But nevertheless, I spend the remainder of the night moping to myself and blowing my money away on shots...it was really bad. I was literally buying shot after shot after shot and slowly but surely running out of money. I finally ceased assasination of my wallet, because I finally realized that I was about to walk away from this Bar DEAD BROKE. But anyways, the Bar finally closes at around 2:00 AM and I walk back home with some of the girls. There were a few other interesting moments from last night...like when this girl, who was a complete stranger to me, tries to get me to sign up for the "best rack" contest by grabbing one of my boobs...and during the "best rack" contest, when I got to witness one of my sisters, topless, dancing suggestively atop a pool table. It would have been a really great night for me and was at first, but I just don't know what the fuck happened. I do blame myself for this too. I mean, I had no reason in this world whatsoever to be crying...but NO! I just had to go and ruin a potentially incredible night for myself. *sigh* I don't know anymore. Anyways, today has been just that. Didn't really do much besides get something to eat, watch music videos, organize my schedule, do some laundry and remake my bed. Once i'm done with the laundry, i'm hoping that i'll be able to get around to studying a little bit. I just hope that all my pondering about last night (which I have been doing all day) don't compromise my studying.
Mood: Confused.
Want of the day: To be able to gather myself mentally to study.
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