Monday, Aug. 24, 2009

Currently: I am such an idiot. It has just hit me today that sleeping with Jesse so willingly may have been the biggest mistake of my life. I was so anxious and ready to lose my virginity to a guy that I was attracted to, that I didn't even blink twice when he told me "...but I do have a problem...I don't like to use condoms. I pull out." Logical me should have heard that and said "thanks, but no thanks," but stupid, ready-for-anything me just simply thought "okay, as long as he pulls out on time, everything is just peachy!" Big-fucking-mistake. Now, since we had unprotected sex, not only may I be pregnant, but I am also at risk to be carrying whatever he may be carrying. This is especially crucial considering that when we had had sex I was most likely still ovulating. I am so upset at myself, it's not even funny. But now all there is for me to do is wait...just wait and see. I am really hoping that things work out okay, but you never know. I hate this...so much.