Friday, Jan. 29, 2010

Currently: I'm not going to lie, I miss having Jon around. Although he was a little bit of a dirt bag, he was a challenge, and I liked that. As boring as my life is, I like having someone around that keeps me awake and focused and he did just that. When he was around, I had someone to actively think about and look forward to seeing. I could think "How am I going to get his attention tonight?" "Will he notice me tonight?" Will he not?" "Where will I see him?" I know that it sounds a little weird and stalker-ish and I don't really like that. But think about it, i'm in a campus full of really lame guys that don't really give me an "adventure" if you will...and aren't really worth one. But when I had such an insatiable, non-particular guy like Jon around, he was that one guy that could spice up my life a little bit...though he wasn't aware of that. His eye-candy factor helped him a little too. = ) I don't know, i'm just one confused person right now. A few years ago, I vowed myself to never have a "crush" on an asshole ever again, and it looks like i'm falling back into that mode and it's really not good. I guess it's my appetite for adventure and a challenge that's causing this...definitely. Oh well, I digress. It's really cold out tonight, and because of that I didn't really seek to go out...and now I'm kind of regretting it. It is 11:44 exactly right now, and I know to most this isn't that late and the night is still "young," but since ALL Bars and clubs in this area close at an early 2am, and time just flies by so quickly, to me 11 pm is about the time that the night is about to end. By the time I get ready and step out, it's already about 12:30, giving me none more than an hour and a half to have any fun. Lame. So yea, i'll probably be going to bed in a few. Tommorrow i'm going to go eat at McDonalds to cheer myself up. After that, i'm going to watch the movie "I can do bad all by myself" again. It's a really good movie! I think i'm in love.