Currently: Last night was actually fun. I was so desperate to get out and cleanse my depressed system with some liquor, and no one was really responding to any of my texts or caring for that matter that I was absolutely miserable and dying to just do something...that I decided to move to my last resort, which was begging my roomate to be my companion. Haha. Thankfully, she was in a good mood, and with a little of my desperation and begging, agreed to go with me. The Bar was pretty packed last night, with it being "Bar Stool/ Bar Crawl" weekend and all...it was a lot of fun. I got so drunk that I started talking to and making friends with complete strangers and was even flirted with...by a woman!haha. That was interesting. I also got a cute guy to dance with my roomate, which was cool, decided to voluntarily dance on a table top and was sort of "reunited" with cool, all-American guy that I was gawking over a few weeks ago. Sadly, my meeting with him this time wasn't as exciting as it was last time, as he merely asked to use my lighter, thanked me, and then went on his merry way. All in all, it was still a blast. After our Bar festivities, we stopped by McDonald's, where I picked up two double cheese burgers. Sadly, I didn't even get to eat them, as I began puking my ass off as soon as we got back to the apartment. I puked maybe four times and didn't black out on the bathroom floor this time, so I consider that a success! But of course, there is a downside to this story. I wake up this morning to discover that I had gone diarrhea allover my panties while I was knocked out asleep...sexy, I know. Haha. SO embarrassing! I quickly took everything I was wearing off and washed them...and cleaned the bathroom too, of course. Beyond gross, let me tell you. But today, in general has been very up and down for me. I woke up feeling fine (minus the little poo situation), but then out of nowhere, I was sad again. It was so weird...it was just like poof! out of nowhere, back to misery...and I don't understand it. I'm starting to think that something's seriously wrong with me, and as the years go by, my once sort of mild depression gets progressively worse. It's pretty scary, to be honest. These days, to tell you the truth, i'm only happy when i'm drunk...and that's a very dangerous sign. I really don't know what to do with myself at this point to make it all better. Now, i'm not religious or anything, but whoever's reading this entry right now, just pray for me please.
Mood: Sad.
Want of the day: To feel better.
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